A Different World
by gooseles
Summary: MaryCourtney Davis is the pretty and popular girlfriend of football stud, Ray Budds. Life has always been so normal and predictable in Alexandria but new faces and changes at school bring about events that turn everyone's world upside down. Completed
1. The Phone Call

I danced in front of my mirror, hairbrush in hand as a makeshift microphone as I belted out the words to "Never Can Say Goodbye" my new favorite song by the Jackson Five. Twisting and twirling, scrambling in vain to hit every one of Michael's high notes, I ended up knocking myself right into my mother.

"Gosh, Mama, don't you knock?" I whined.

"Mary-Courtney Davis, is that anyway to speak to your mother? I should wash your mouth out, young lady. And for your information I knocked three times already but how could you hear me with that awful music blasting?"

"It's not awful, Mama."

"Whatever. You kids these days...anyway, I was trying to tell you that you have a phone call."

"Who is it?"

"Who do you think?" she asked with a half smile.

I couldn't contain the grin on my face as I bolted down the hall past my mother to the telephone in the kitchen.

"Mary-Courtney, no running in the house! And turn that music down, your father will have a fit if he comes home to all that racket."

I didn't even care about her scolding. All I cared about was who was on the other end of that phone.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly into the receiver.

"Hey sugar. Your voice is about the best thing I've heard today."

Flopping down on a nearby chair I held the cord close to me.

"Hey Ray. How's it going, baby?"

Ray Budds was my boyfriend of a little over two years and a stand out player for our school football team, the T.C. Williams' Titans. I was the cheerleader, he was the jock and in everyone's eyes we were the perfect all American couple. I loved Ray, I really did. We'd been together since we were fourteen and he had big plans of being recruited by some fancy college where he'd play ball and we'd get married and have kids and live happily ever after. That was the plan for most high school couples in small towns and I was fine with it. I was happy. By all standards Ray was an awesome catch.

"It's going...I don't know, Mary-Courtney. We're still on three a days and it's killing me."

The football team was attending a special camp at Gettysburg College in preparation for the upcoming season. It was supposed to be perfect. Our boys would go all the way to State being led by future Hall of Fame coach Bill Yoast. Yeah, that was the plan until the school board decided to integrate. For the first time a bunch of colored kids would be bussed to T.C. Williams. For the first time in Alexandria, blacks and whites would attend classes together and play sports together. It was the single biggest change ever to happen to our little community. And then to shake things up even more, Coach Yoast was demoted to assistant coach and replaced with a black man transferred from North Carolina named Herman Boone. All the new changes weren't settling well with lots of folks, especially with my Ray.

"It'll be over soon, baby", I sighed.

"You'll be home soon enough. Still I can't believe Coach Boone is working y'all so hard."

"You mean Coach Koon", Ray hissed, his voice dripping with hatred.

It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. You see, I'm one of those people that don't see color. I'd never been prejudiced. It just didn't make sense to me to hate someone solely because their skin was a bit darker. Unfortunately, most people didn't share my opinion. My parents, other members of my family, some of my friends and of course Ray. I was okay with him not having the same beliefs but it made my soul cringe every time he made a racial slur. It wasn't just what he said but it was the way he said. There was so much anger and animosity. Sometimes it really scared me.

"Baby..."

"What? Mary-Courtney, you don't understand, honey. It's awful. Not only are we on the three a days, Boone has us sharing rooms with the coloreds. And get this. Now we have to spend time with a teammate of a different race and write essays about it and stuff."

"It might not be so bad, you know, getting to know different people and all. Besides, you're gonna be playing with those guys. Didn't you say y'all were like brothers?"

"That was last year, Mary-Courtney. Things have changed. Ain't none of these monkeys gonna be my brother, I tell you that much. And the new quarterback? This Jerry Harris kid they call Rev. Well it will be a cold day in hell before I ever block for his black behind."

"Ray baby, don't be like that. Besides if you don't block for the quarterback then you're not gonna start."

"I'm biding my time, trust me. Biding my time...Jesus, Mary-Courtney what is all that racket in the background?"

"I'm listening to my new radio Daddy bought me."

"What the hell are you listening to?"

"That's the great sound of the Jackson Five."

"It sounds like crap."

Sighing I tried to change the subject. It was hard to talk to Ray when he was acting like that.

"Well when you get back only three days before we head off to the lake. Those good bye to summer parties are always so much fun. We're gonna have a blast. I can't wait for you to see the new swimsuit I just bought."

"And I can't wait to see you in it", Ray breathed.

I giggled just as I heard a bunch of yelling in the background.

"What's all that, Ray?"

"I gotta go, Mary-Courtney. The other guys need to use the phone but I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Okay. I'll talk to you soon. I miss you, Ray."

"Miss you too", he whispered.

"I love you." "Me too."

"You better say it back", I laughed, well on to his little game. "

I can't, Mary-Courtney."

"Oh yes you can. Gerry said it to Emma so you have to say it to me."

"Fine...I, I love you, sugar."

I smiled as I heard all the guys in the back begin to tease him mercilessly. I hung up the phone with a huge dopey grin on my face. I missed Ray a lot and I did love him. I saw a real future with the guy. He was a good person alright, just a little rough around the edges. But we were going to be okay. We'd get through camp and integration and football season and school and any other obstacles in my way. I was actually looking forward to it. Everything was going to be just fine.


	2. Bye Bye Summer

I shivered as the cool wind from a Virginia evening in September began to set in. It was dark fall and we had spent a glorious day on the lake. It was sort of a Labor Day weekend tradition. All our friends and families got together for a huge barbecue, the adults sitting around playing cards and talking while us teens swam and frolicked in the water and played volleyball and such. It had been a truly glorious summer, one that I would remember forever. I looked around at the perfect moon and the perfect starry sky. The grown ups were off in the distance while we kids sat around a small fire toasting marshmallows. It was mostly the football players and my fellow cheerleaders from school. Alexandria wasn't that big and we'd all practically grown up together anyway. We all laughed as Emma Hoyt pretended to lecture her boyfriend, Gerry Bertier about the way he was toasting his marshmallow. She was right of course and he kept refusing to admit fault no matter how many times it fell into the bottom of the firey pit. It was getting chilly and I was getting cold as my clothes and hair were still damp from the water.  
  
"Let's take a walk", Ray said softly as he draped a towel over my shoulders . I took his hand as he led me silently down a trail away from the others.  
  
"I can't wait for school to start", I said nervously trying to strike up a conversation.  
  
"Yeah...me too."  
  
I could tell Ray really wasn't interested in a conversation about the new school year. I shivered again as he brushed a wet lock of hair from my face and the shiver had nothing to do with the cool night air. His face inched closer to mine and I felt his lips brush against my cheek. We looked at each other for a minute, neither one of us speaking a word. Then he kissed my lips.  
  
"Ray, we should get back", I whispered.  
  
"It's okay, Marty-Courtney. No one is looking for us. We got all the time in the world, baby."  
  
I nodded uneasily as we kissed again. I enjoyed making out with Ray but I always got nervous because I knew one day the making out would eventually lead to other things, things I wasn't sure I was ready for. His kisses fell lower on my face then my neck on down to my chest at the edge of my bathing suit top.  
  
"Ray..."  
  
"Shhhhhh", he hushed me, putting a finger to my lips . He removed the towel from my shoulders and laid it across the ground. Gently he caressed me and eased me onto the pallet.  
  
"I love you, Mary-Courtney."  
  
His hands began to roam all over my body and I was torn by one side of physical wanting and pleasure and the other part of me a scared, confused little girl. We kissed and cuddled a while longer before he began taking off my clothes.  
  
"Ray...wait..."  
  
"What's wrong, sugar?"  
  
"Nothing...I mean, I don't know if I...you know, if I want to, I mean if I'm ready for all this yet."  
  
"It's been over a year, Mary-Courtney."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Don't you love me?"  
  
"Yes. Yes Ray of course I love you."  
  
"Don't I make you happy."  
  
"Yes but..."  
  
"I love you, Mary-Courtney. Girl, I love you so much sometimes I can't even believe how much I love you. I just want to show you, baby. I've told you how I feel now I want to show you. I want us to be together, to go all the way. I've been patient honey but it's hard. I don't know if I can wait much longer. I want you so bad. Don't you want me too?"  
  
"Yeah but..."  
  
"But what?" he asked with a hurt expression.  
  
"But...but it's a sin."  
  
That was the first thought to pop into my head and it seemed to roll off my tongue so well  
  
"A sin?"  
  
"Yeah like we learn about in church, Ray. We're gonna go to hell."  
  
"Mary-Courtney we are not going to hell."  
  
"We're not married."  
  
"Yeah but we will be. Right after high school. We'll get married before college. It's gonna be perfect and God understands that."  
  
Thoughts of a marriage and children with Ray floated across my brain.  
  
"Is that the plan?"  
  
"Always has been."  
  
"Ray...do you think it will always be like this? This moment right here right now."  
  
"For the rest of our lives."  
  
He gave me a reassuring look and before I knew it we were kissing again. I felt so self conscious as Ray removed the top. Automatically my hands went up to cover what the material wasn't. Then he eased off my bottoms. I was so terrified I was sure he'd be able to hear my heart, which was about to thump right out of my chest. Then he sat up and slowly removed his shorts. I closed my eyes. I had never seen a naked man before and truth be told, it was kind of scary. I mean, I knew the basics about what goes where bit it was still a mortifying experience. I was so naïve and shy. I did love Ray but something didn't feel quite right.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
I nodded and tried to prepare myself for the experience. There were arms and legs flailing everywhere, which made for it a bit awkward then came the pain. A dull, aching pain that made me yelp out loud.  
  
"You okay, Mary-Courtney?"  
  
"It hurts", I whimpered.  
  
He tried to be gentle and tender but it didn't matter much. It still hurt. As I lay there underneath his weight a flashback of every love scene from every romantic movie I had ever watched ran through my mind. There were all these images of beautiful people doing beautiful things to each other having a grand old time as they hollered out in pleasure. What was wrong with me? Where was my pleasure? Instead it felt like Ray was ripping my guts out. I closed my eyes and in a few minutes it was over. Just like that. We lay on the towel in silence for what felt like forever.  
  
"You okay?" he finally asked.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Ray, I don't want to get pregnant", I said.  
  
"And I don't want to get you pregnant. Don't worry, I was careful."  
  
I nodded again as we scrambled to find our clothes and get dressed. Once we did, he grabbed my hand and walked us back to the fire to be with our friends who had barely noticed our brief absence. They laughed and talked, reminiscing about the past, planning excitedly and hopefully for the future. I sat there with them, silent as an old church mouse, rubbing my shivering arms.  
  
"I love you, Mary-Courtney", Ray whispered.  
  
And he gave me a sweet smile, a smile with a future in it. 


	3. First Day of School

It took darn near an hour for my folks to let me leave the house for the first day o school. Daddy paced around the living room angrily griping about the coloreds while Mama cried. She was scared out of her mind that there would be some sort of riot. Finally my best friend, Emma Hoyt, showed up and they relaxed enough to let me out the front door. The day was beautiful and the walk short as I only lived a few blocks away from the school. I half-heartedly listened as Emma went on and on about all the clothes she bought while school shopping. We talked about band and art class and the new cheerleading uniforms the school had recently purchased. And that's when we saw it. There were policemen everywhere and some of them had dogs like on TV. The front yard of the school looked like a madhouse and quite frankly it was a little scary. Kids were just trying to get by on the walkway as officers tried to restrain angry white parents. Some yelled racial slurs. Some held signs that said things like, "Parents Against Bussing". In all my years I had never seen anything like it. I looked around for Ray in the midst of the chaos but my boyfriend was nowhere to be found.

"Over there", Emma said, grabbing my hand.

It felt good to see a familiar face as Emma and I walked up to Gerry. He was talking to someone and as we approached them I saw that it was a tall, black kid.

"Man, where are my manners? Sorry. Julius, this is my girlfriend Emma Hoyt and her friend, Mary-Courtney Davis. Mary-Courtney is Ray's girl."

"Nice to meet you", Julius said, offering a huge hand.

I smiled and shook it. He extended his hand to Emma as well who rolled her eyes and quickly dragged me away.

"Emma, that wasn't very polite", I said as soon as we were away from the guys.

"Who cares? What's gotten into Gerry anyway? Like I would really shake that colored boy's hand."

"He's a regular kid just like you and I", shrugged.

"Oh come on. Not you too, Mary-Courtney."

"What? You sound just like my father and Ray. I don't see what the big deal is."

"The big deal? Mary-Courtney, are you serious? Look around. Look at them."

I looked around at all the people around us. They may have looked different on the outside but we were all alike on the inside. Why couldn't people see and understand that.

"What, Emma?"

"Look at them. They hate us!"

She scoffed at a group of black girls standing near us. They did have mean looks on their faces but who could blame them? They were probably frightened, probably thinking the same way about us that some thought about them.

"They don't hate us, they just don't know us. This will all blow over soon. Everything is going to be okay." I said the words but I wasn't quite sure if I meant them. It was a crazy scene.

"We don't want no colored kids here!" one man screamed.

As he said a boy walked by I had never seen before and the man pushed up against him.

"We don't want you here neither, hippie boy", the man snarled again.

The young man he was referring to gave him a disgusted look and pushed back showing no fear as he continued his way inside the school.

"God, it's a madhouse out here."

Emma and I turned around and there was Ray.

"I know", I agreed. "It's crazy."

"Come on. Let's get you girls inside."

We filed behind the other students and waited our turn to enter the building. A few feet away in front was the "hippie boy" the angry father had insulted. Just one look and you could tell he wasn't from around our parts. He had longish blonde hair that almost touched his shoulders and bright blue eyes. He dressed different too. I couldn't stop staring. There was just something about him.

"Ray? Who is that boy in front of us over there? The one with the blonde hair. I haven't seen him around before."

Ray rolled his eyes. "That's Ronnie Bass. He's a military kid that just transferred here from California. He joined us up at camp. He is the backup for quarterback."

"Oh", I said. "Is he nice?"

"He's a faggot."

"A what?"

"You heard me."

"That's not very nice. Besides, how do you know?"

"Because he kissed Gerry."

Emma and I both looked at Ray with raised eyebrows.

"It happened up at camp and it's a long story. I'll tell you guys later. Anyway, Bass is a weirdo, plain and simple. He's one of them hippies."

Ray said the word with such disgust. I hated how he could be so judgmental at times. Hippies weren't bad people and how did Ray know for sure that Ronnie Bass was one? Just because he had longer hair and was from California it was unfair for people to jump to conclusions. He was probably a nice boy. He certainly looked like a nice boy. And then as if reading my mind, he turned and faced me. He gave me a shy smile before turning back around. I blushed and looked at the ground hoping neither Ray nor Emma had just witnessed our little "interaction". They didn't seem to notice and pretty soon we were inside the school. I quickly found my locker and stuffed a few books inside before saying goodbye to Emma and Ray. The first bell rang shortly thereafter and it was off to homeroom. There were quite a few blacks in my class and I made a point to nod and smile as I passed each one of them on my way to my seat. There were familiar faces to and I was just happy to have Mrs. Johnson for English class.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen, please take a seat and settle down so we can begin class. I am Mrs. Johnson and welcome to eleventh grade English. I will be your teacher for this school year. Right now we are going to take roll and then we'll each stand up and get to know each other a little bit more."

I took out my notebook and began absently doodling on the pad.

"John Andrews...Ann Barber...Ronald Bass..."

The name instantly grabbed my attention as my eyes searched the room.

"Ronald Bass?" Mrs. Johnson said again.

And once more like clockwork he appeared again as if on cue. The door to the classroom opened and there he was.

"Sorry ma'am, I got lost."

"Not a problem, dear. Please take a seat."

There was only one available and it happened to be right next to me. My cheeks burned crimson as he made his way to the back.

"Is this seat taken?"

"Huh?"

I had never seen eyes so blue before.

"I asked if anyone was sitting here."

"Uh...no. Um, go ahead."

He nodded and smiled and sat beside me. I must have sounded like a total dork talking to him. Oh how I wanted to slowly disappear inside myself. How would I make it through the whole year sitting next to that guy? I'd have to get used to it as Ronnie Bass showed up in three of my seven period classes. In addition to Homeroom/English, he joined me in Art and Algebra, a class that looked like a football practice session as there were so many Titan players there. Throughout the course of that first day Ronnie looked over and smiled at me a few times. Something told me that this was going to be a year to remember.


	4. Study Time

Cheerleading practice was over and I couldn't have been more thrilled. I was exhausted! Ray always laughed whenever I said that. For the life of him he just couldn't understand how "clapping your hands and throwing pom poms in the air" could be so tiresome. Little did he know. For two hours straight I had been perched atop the world's shakiest pyramid thus resulting in my bottom meeting the grass a few times. It was only the third day of school but we were already swamped with homework so between that and being dropped on my ass a few times, I was ready for a nice long nap. A nap, however, would have to wait as I was meeting Ray on the field after his football practice. I had been invited to his house for dinner and afterwards we would work on our Algebra homework together. I made my way out of the gym, where we cheerleaders practiced inside, over to the field looking for my guy. It was already ten after six and the field looked mostly empty although there was no sign of Ray.  
  
"I see it's finally happened."  
  
I turned around behind me in the direction of the voice that had just spoken. A smile crept to my lips as I found myself face to face with the goofy but still adorable grin of Alan Bosley.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I laughed.  
  
"It's finally happened. You've finally come to your senses and ditched Budds for a real man. Come run away with me...I'll give you a ride on the back of my bicycle and buy you a root beer", Alan jokingly offered his hand to me.  
  
"The root beer definitely sweetens the pot but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass again, Alan."  
  
"One day you'll see the error of your ways."  
  
"One day...", I grinned. "Now where is my babe? Is he still in the shower?"  
  
Alan shrugged and pointed out to the track that surrounded our football field. In the distance I could see a figure running but I couldn't make out the face.  
  
"Sorry, Mary-Courtney. Ray has to run his John Brown hind parts around the track four times."  
  
"His what?"  
  
"John Brown hind parts. That's what Coach Boone says. John Brown is like his phrase to describe something when he's mad or trying to make a point. I think he says that instead of cussing. Anyway, the rule is, you drop Coach Boone's football in a practice, then your John Brown hind parts has to run a mile."  
  
I looked over as the figure was making its way closer to Alan and me and sure enough it was Ray. Judging by the look on his face, he wasn't a very happy camper. He had two more laps to go so Alan waited with me while I waited for Ray to finish. After a quick shower, we hopped in his car and headed over to his house. His mouth was already fixated into a permanent pout so I had a feeling it wasn't going to be the most pleasant of evenings.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, have you thought about the dress you're going to wear to the homecoming dance?" Mrs. Budds asked me. "I've seen some lovely semi- formals downtown if you and your mother get a chance to go shopping soon."  
  
"Yes ma'am. There's a mighty pretty pink dress in this one shop on the corner about the Waterfront. I think I'm going to end up getting that one. I wanted Ray to see it first."  
  
I shot him a smile that he did not return as he picked at the fried liver and green beans on his plate.  
  
"There you girls go distracting my boy with all this nonsense about formals and pink dresses", Mr. Budds interjected. "Homecoming game is one of the most important of the season and Ray needs to concentrate on the plays."  
  
I tried to smile as I fed myself a mouthful of potatoes. Although I'd been dating Ray for over a year and our families had been around one another our whole lives, I never quite felt comfortable around the Budds family, especially Ray's father. I dreaded eating supper there where the conversation went from uncomfortable silence to dialogue about any and everything football. Lately things had taken a turn for the worse as I got to spend an hour listening to father and son badmouth Coach Boone. It was fine by me if they didn't like the man but once again why did skin color have to come in to play? As I heard the "n" word for the fourth time I could no longer take it. I sprang from my seat and offered to help Mrs. Budds with the dishes. A few minutes later Ray grabbed my hand and led me off to his room so we could begin homework. His parents and little sister remained downstairs to watch television. I was allowed to study up in Ray's room just as long as the door remained open.  
  
"Okay, we're starting on page 8, I think", I began as I opened our text books. "Tonight we have to do all the odd numbered problems on through page 9. Okay, dividing exponents..."  
  
I was interrupted by the feel of Ray's lips on my neck.  
  
"Ray, baby, what are you doing? We've got work to do, you know."  
  
"Exponents can wait. I've got a little work here I'm aiming to do that's a lot more important and a lot more fun."  
  
I jerked back as his hand touched my knee.  
  
"What's the matter, sugar?"  
  
"Nothing...it's just that it's getting late and I'll have to be getting home soon, that's all."  
  
"Well we got a few minutes before you have to go..."  
  
I wriggled away as Ray was practically pawing me. Obviously exasperated, he threw his hands in the air.  
  
"Jesus, Mary-Courtney! What now, baby?"  
  
"Your parents and your little sister...Ray, they're downstairs watching TV."  
  
"So they won't be bothering us", he said, kissing me again.  
  
I sighed as I frantically tried to keep both our minds on the books but that was rather difficult as I found myself having Dr. Octopus as a boyfriend/study partner. I loved Ray and I liked fooling around with him but we had work to do. Math was a strong point for neither of us and if we didn't maintain "C" averages, it would be adios to the football team, cheering squad and any other extra curricular activity for that matter. Besides I couldn't help but to be a little creeped out with Ray's family hanging out in practically the next room. What if they heard or saw us? It would simply be the most mortifying moment of my entire life. I'd have to leave the city...the state, the country for that matter. But Ray wasn't taking no for an answer. He'd read a page, help me do a problem and pretend to be studying the text and the next thing I knew, he'd be all over me again.  
  
"Come on baby, please..."  
  
"Ray...I already told you. We can't. Now come on and let's finish up these word problems before I have to go."  
  
Ignoring me, he continued kissing my neck. It tickled a bit and I squealed.  
  
"I love you, Mary-Courtney..."  
  
"And I love you too but if you leave a hickey on my neck Ray Budds, I swear my daddy will skin you alive!"  
  
"Oh come on sugar. Feel how worked up you got me over here."  
  
Ray placed my hand on the hardened bulge of his crotch and I nearly jumped ten feet in the air. My cheeks turned a bright red and I was so embarrassed I couldn't look him in the eye. This whole sex thing was a brand new experience for me. It certainly wasn't something that was frequently discussed in the Davis household. I can still remember my mother's flushed face refusing to look me in the eye the day we shopped for my first bra. Sex was something that I giggled about with my girlfriend's during sleepovers. It wasn't even something Ray and I had discussed in detail prior to doing the deed. There was a never a conversation with specifics, only talking about whether or not it was time to go "all the way".  
  
"Ray!"  
  
"What baby? Don't be embarrassed. That's all for you. That is my love for you."  
  
My face was so red my ears were burning.  
  
"Yeah...but, I. I have a headache and besides I have to go soon and..."  
  
"Come on, Mary-Courtney", Ray began to whine. "Baby, men are different from women. You got me all excited and rarin' to go and if we don't do it, then it's gonna hurt me something awful."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Honey, it's called blue balls."  
  
"Oh Ray", I winced . What had I gotten myself into? My first time wasn't nearly as special, wonderful or romantic as I thought it would be and truth be told, I was actually dreading a second and God forbid, a third time. But as the saying goes, give someone an inch and they take a mile. We had done it once and I thought that would be the end of it but now it looked as if Ray would want it all the time.  
  
"Come on sugar. I want you so bad. Mary-Courtney, I need you."  
  
"I don't know Ray..."  
  
"It'll be better for you the second time around, I promise. Besides baby, you don't want me to be in pain now, do you?"  
  
I looked at his puppy dog eyes that were practically pleading with me.  
  
"But your folks..."  
  
"We'll be real quiet, they won't know a thing. Besides, it'll only take a minute."  
  
Famous last words every girl is dying to hear. 


	5. Flirting and Carrying On

"Buenos Dias, boys and girls", came the usual cheerful morning greeting from our fifth period Spanish teacher, Mrs. Shaul.  
  
"Buenos Dias, Senora Shaul", the class half-heartedly answered in unison.  
  
She was a plump and pleasant older lady and a favorite of half the student body, mostly because of her tendency to give open book tests. Mrs. Shaul was one of the easier teachers and since her class coincided with lunch, I'd developed the bad habit of staring out the window and daydreaming during her lectures.  
  
"Oh my God, look at him! He is so dreamy", cooed Anna Beth Wright, a fellow cheerleader who sat a few seats away from me.  
  
All eyes diverted to where she was looking in the schoolyard out the window underneath the large oak tree. Amidst a growing crowd of smitten young girls was Ronnie Bass. He seemed to be in his own world, his arms moving in a slow concentrated motion. I'd never seen anything like it but I'd read about meditation and such things.  
  
"Yeah is so cute", another girl joined him.  
  
I said nothing but stared at him. He looked so free, so peaceful, so relaxed...so beautiful . "Y'all talking about old Sunshine?" Petey Jones asked.  
  
Petey was another football player and self-proclaimed class clown. I had to admit, he did make the time pass by in Spanish and Algebra classes.  
  
"Ronnie's the best", another girl offered.  
  
"What are you looking at old Sunshine for? That boy's got the cleanest uniform on the team. Guarantee he'll be sitting on the bench the whole season. If y'all wanna croon over somebody, it should be me. I'm the real star Titan."  
  
The girls giggled and that's exactly what Petey wanted. He was a jokester and a ladies man but also a real sweetheart.  
  
"Petey, you're such a clown", Anna Beth smiled.  
  
"Besides, Sunshine is from California."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I mean, he's from California, if you know what I mean", he smirked.  
  
I gave him a sly smile before burying my nose in my Spanish text. Although he was only joking, I knew exactly what Petey was referring to. Ray had filled me in on the infamous locker room kiss Ronnie had planted on Gerry.  
  
"Girls, it sounds to me like our Petey here is jealous", Anna Beth teased.  
  
"Nunca. Adoro a las damas y las damas me adoran."  
  
"You definitely love the ladies but I think the ladies love Ronnie Bass", I grinned . "You're killing me, Mary-Courtney, you're killing me", Petey winked as Mrs. Shaul gathered our attention to watch a video.  
  
I managed to make it through class and the video without nodding off and when the lunch bell rang, my rumbling tummy was more than ready. I made my usual stop off at my locker to drop off books. Gerry and Emma were already there waiting for me.  
  
"Excited about the big game tonight, Ger?" I asked as I hastily tossed my things inside my locker.  
  
"You know it, kiddo", he grinned. "We're gonna cream Groveton tonight!"  
  
"Excited? Are you kidding me? It's all he's been talking about all week", Emma chimed in.  
  
"Well let's talk about it over lunch", I offered. "I'm starving. Any of you guys seen Ray?"  
  
"Yeah there he is over there talking to Kurt Foster."  
  
Kurt Foster was a kid in my Spanish class I knew in passing only. He wasn't a friend of Ray's either and if I hadn't been in such a rush to get to the cafeteria, I might have found it a little strange the way they were talking all serious like . "Ray, baby over here", I waved, getting his attention so we could all walk to the lunch room together.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, what the hell's going on?"  
  
Ray's harsh tone and angry face took us all off guard.  
  
"What's the matter, baby? We were just waiting on you so we could go eat. Is everything okay?"  
  
"What the hell is going on between you and Petey Jones?"  
  
"Petey?"  
  
"Yeah Petey."  
  
"Nothing. We have class together and we were just talking and..."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
My mouth opened in shock. I had seen Ray mad before but never quite like this.  
  
"Ray don't be getting all upset, man. Petey's just a friendly guy. He talks to everyone. I'm sure it was harmless", Gerry tried to intervene.  
  
"Gerry, this is between me and my girl."  
  
"I know man but..."  
  
"We'll catch up to you and Emma later."  
  
Even his best friend was bearing the brunt of his wrath. Reluctantly Gerry and Emma walked off towards the cafeteria.  
  
"Ray, what is the matter with you? Gosh, why are you acting like this?"  
  
"No why are you acting like this? Flirting and carrying on with another man."  
  
"Ray Budds, I was not flirting! I don't know what that rat Kurt Foster had to say that riled you all up but whatever it is, it's a lie. Petey and I were just talking. Talking, Ray. That is allowed isn't it? Or all of a sudden are you my new daddy? You get to tell who I can and can't be friends with."  
  
"So now you're friends with him, huh? No I ain't your daddy but I don't think he would appreciate it if he knew his little girl was getting all comfy mingling with the colored folk."  
  
I'd had it.  
  
"Ray, I'm going to get something to eat. When you quit acting like an ass, feel free to join me."  
  
I tried to walk away but he grabbed my shoulder and roughly pulled me back into the locker. I had never seen this side of Ray and it was starting to frighten me.  
  
"I don't want you to talking to him anymore, Mary-Courtney, you understand? If one more person comes up to me in the hall and tells me that my girl is flirting with some black guy, so help me..."  
  
"So help you, what Ray? Huh?"  
  
"Look I don't want to fight with you. Let's just go eat, okay?"  
  
"I don't want to fight with you either but I can't deal with this when you're acting like a jerk, Ray. What is going on with you? I don't understand. Half the guys on the team with you, I grew up with them too and they're my friends and I laugh and joke with them all the time. Look at me and Alan. That never bothered you."  
  
"Bosley's different", Ray muttered.  
  
"Why? Because he's white?"  
  
"Yeah because he's white."  
  
"Ray..."  
  
"Look, Mary-Courtney. We have to go to school with them because the law says we do. And I have to play football and you have to cheer with them because the school says we have to. But there ain't no law and no school that can make us be friends with them. Just stick to your own is all I'm saying. No future wife of mine is gonna be a monkey loving race mixer, I'll tell you that much. Now come on." Now it was my turn to jerk away.  
  
"Ray Budds, you are a bigot and you disgust me. I'm not going to lunch or anywhere else with you. And if that's the way you feel then maybe I shouldn't be your wife after all."  
  
With that I turned on my heels and bounded down the hallway. I could feel all kinds of stares on my back as Ray yelled after me a couple times. I knew we were making a scene but I didn't care. He didn't own me. I could talk to whoever I wanted when I wanted and it was none of his business. Petey was a nice guy and we weren't doing anything wrong. I was so angry with Ray that I spent lunch period crying in a stall in the girl's bathroom. I managed to avoid him during sixth period but Algebra, the last class of the day was hopeless. Ronnie Bass, Julius Campbell, Jerry "Rev" Harris, Alan Bosley, Blue Stanton, Louie Lastik, Petey, Gerry, Emma and Ray were all in that class with me. I took my seat in a huff ignoring the curious gazes of Gerry and Emma as well as Ray who was desperately trying to pass me a note. After fifty agonizing minutes, the dismissal bell rang and school was over.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, I want to talk to you."  
  
"Not now Ray. I'm busy. Cheerleaders have to form up in the gym after school first thing."  
  
"This will only take a second..."  
  
"Good bye Ray!" I said loudly as I brushed by him.  
  
Ray stalked off and in my overly dramatic attempt at an exit, I bumped head first into another student. The fall knocked me on my butt and sent my papers and books flying everywhere.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
I looked up and there was Ronnie Bass. He looked concerned and offered me a hand up.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just a klutz", I stammered.  
  
Like a gentleman he helped me gather my things.  
  
"You're not a klutz", he smiled sweetly. "It was partly my fault. I should have been paying more attention to where I was going. But anyway, if you sure you're okay..."  
  
"I'm fine. Really. Thanks."  
  
"Mary-Courtney, right?"  
  
"Yeah", I blushed.  
  
"Ronnie Bass", he said, extending his hand. "Most of the fellas on the team call me Sunshine. Whatever you want to call me is okay. You're in a few of my classes, right?"  
  
"Yeah...um, homeroom and Art and this one."  
  
"That's cool", he nodded. "Well I gotta get going before Coach Boone has my butt. Anyway, it was nice meeting you finally. I guess I'll see you around?"  
  
I nodded like an idiot to flustered to catch my breath and make a coherent sound. I stood there a few minutes trying to process the elements of our conversation then the angry memories of Ray came flooding back. I sighed and tugged at my lip. Ray Budds and Ronnie Bass would both have to wait. I had to get to the locker room and suit up. Tonight was a big night...the first game of the season. 


	6. Game Time

High school football on a Friday night is a big deal in Virginia. Excitement filled the air. The seats were filled for our first home game and the Titan players were pumped for a victory. The cheerleaders always ran out with the players upon entrance to the field. My heart beat wildly as I straightened the red ribbons in my hair. I could feel Ray's eyes bearing a hole right through me. I did my best to ignore him and keep a straight face but I felt my cheeks burn when Ronnie and I made eye contact and he gave me a small smile.  
  
"What time is it?" Julius "Big Ju" Campbell yelled.  
  
"Game time!" the Titans yelled, as they began to get pumped.  
  
We all burst onto the field to the thunderous applause of the fans. Cheerleaders took their place on the track as the guys began to warm up on the field. The game began and right away T.C. Williams began to dominate. I cheered, chanted and shook my pom poms in the air. By half time we had a sizeable lead. Titans in the front, let me hear you grunt Titans in the middle, let me hear you sizzle Titans in the back, show us where you're at Titans here Titans there Titans are everywhere Goooooooooooooo team! I did a jump then a cartwheel and from the Titan bench I could see Ronnie still smiling at me. Looking in those pretty blue eyes I almost missed the captain signal the next cheer. Be aggressive B-e aggressive B-e-a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e Aggressive B-e aggressive I was so in to staring at Ronnie stare at me that I was all off beat on the clapping and stomping. I'd messed up pretty bad but all I could do was laugh and Ronnie grinned and winked at me. I remained slightly more focused through the rest of the game cheering T.C. Williams to the Titan's first win of the season. It was pretty much a given that the team usually partied after a victory to celebrate but I was in no mood. I just wanted to get my things and go home.  
  
"Be aggressive, b-e aggressive, b-e-a-g-g..."  
  
I turned around to see Petey doing his best cheerleader imitation. I laughed as I threw my pom poms at him.  
  
"You're almost as good on the side as you are on the field."  
  
"Thank you, thank you", he said as he took his mock bow.  
  
"Great game tonight. You guys were awesome, Petey. Congratulations!"  
  
"Thanks. You coming out to celebrate?"  
  
"Nah not tonight. You guys go ahead. I'm kind of tired, I think I'll just head home."  
  
"Home? What? On a Friday night after a win, a home game, very first of the season when your boys kicked ass on the field and you fine ladies did your thing on the sides! And you don't want to party? What's up with that? Nope, Petey ain't having that! You better turn that frown upside down and get your stuff because you're partying tonight Titan style!"  
  
And how could I resist when Petey put it like that. Reluctantly I followed him to where a familiar group of guys were waiting.  
  
"Alright y'all let's go paint the town! And be on your best behavior because we've got a lady joining us for the evening."  
  
Alan, Gerry, Rev, Julius, Blue, Louie and Ronnie all smiled. Why did my heart instantly flutter everytime Ronnie Bass smiled at me? I wanted to know if he truly meant to smile at me the way he did. I wondered if he knew how truly beautiful he was?  
  
"Don't worry", Blue grinned. "We'll take real good care of you. You're in Titan hands, little lady."  
  
I smiled and joined the gang as we figured out what to do. There was a café on the corner with great food my family used to frequent when I was younger. The delicious smell of hamburgers, hot dogs and French fries greeted us on the street.  
  
"Damn that smells good", Ronnie sniffed. "Let's go get some grub guys."  
  
I traded a knowing glance with Petey who stepped in to explain the situation to our new friend.  
  
"Sorry man. Let's find somewhere else."  
  
"Why? What's wrong with here?" Ronnie inquired.  
  
"Look Sunshine, this here is Alexandria. This ain't California. They ain't cool with us black folks eating in there."  
  
"What man? Come on, it's cool. Burgers on me. It's cool, Petey."  
  
Ronnie opened the door and the rest of the Titans reluctantly filed in. It was a quiet September night with just a few of the regulars sipping their coffee in the corner. A snaggle tooth redneck manager greeted us at the door. I was standing in back and couldn't make out most of the conversation but from the looks of the body language, it was plain to see what was happening, something Petey and I both sadly could have predicted.  
  
"Dude, you're not full, it's like three people in here. Look at all these tables", Ronnie protested.  
  
"This is a private establishment and I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Now if you colored boys want to eat, there is a window around the back...that goes for you too, hippie boy."  
  
And with that we were right back on the street, right where we started. It had begun as a magic night where there was no separation of black and white. The Titans were a team, a band of brothers who had won their game together. And now the dream was over and reality once again had taken over. We were back in the real world where color did matter. Sometimes it seemed like color was the only thing that did matter. Petey was furious! I looked into his brown eyes and it pained me to see the sheer frustration, anger, humiliation and hurt.  
  
"Petey, dude, I'm sorry man", Ronnie apologized over and over. "I didn't know"  
  
"What do you mean you didn't know?" Petey asked, his voice beginning to rise.  
  
"I didn't know, man. I'm sorry."  
  
"What do you mean you didn't know, I just told you! Damn, Sunshine did you think I was playing?"  
  
Rebuffing Ronnie's apologies Petey stalked off into the night, Blue, Julius, and Rev behind him. And once again we were separated by race.  
  
"I'm sorry", Ronnie repeated softly over and over again.  
  
He looked so sad and I knew he didn't understand it all. I wanted to touch him, to hug him. I put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. He looked at me with real tears in those eyes and for a split second it was our moment. Then it was over as a car pulled up towards us honking loudly. It was a few cheerleaders and some of the white members of the football team. Ray and Emma sat in the backseat.  
  
"Where have you two been all night? We're going down to the Waterfront, do you want to come?" Emma smiled.  
  
I looked at her, then at Gerry, then at Ray.  
  
"No thanks", I muttered.  
  
Gerry had already hopped in the back of the convertible . "Aw come on, Mary-Courtney, it'll be fun", Emma pleaded.  
  
I looked at Ray's sad and lonely expression.  
  
"Please Mary-Courtney?" he asked. "It would mean a lot if you'd come. It'll be fun. Besides, it'll give us a chance to talk and all. I...I'm really sorry, sugar."  
  
I looked at my friends then sighed. What the hell, I thought. I climbed into the back of the convertible where Ray put his arm around me and gave me a sheepish grin. I looked away as the cool night breeze blew through my hair. As the car pulled away, I looked to my right and there was Ronnie. He looked like a lost little boy at that moment so much so that I wanted to jump out of the car and run to him. Instead I stared and he stared right back watching as the car drove off into the distance and we could no longer see each other. 


	7. What's California Like?

Fourth period was my favorite part of the day next to lunch, and art was my favorite subject and Mrs. Taylor had to be my favorite teacher. She was the first black teacher I'd ever had and my parents had been so reluctant about me taking her class. But for anyone who ever met this woman or spent at least five minutes with her, any apprehensions would soon blow by the wayside. She was a terrific teacher and a terrific lady. Boy did she have a commanding presence. Just by walking in a room she had everyone's attention immediately. And she was beautiful! She reminded me a lot of Lena Horne. And those bright colors and scarves she wore around her head were amazing. But more than that, she knew her art and she loved it. Mrs. Taylor was a true artist in every sense of the word. Her assignments were both refreshing and thought provoking.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, art is a feeling", she began. "It's about expression and it is full of emotion. Today's assignment is simple. I want you all to relax for a moment and just stop and think about how you feel. It can be happy or sad or confused or even angry. Whatever it is, I want it to come from the depths of your soul and then you are going to paint those feelings. I want to view your work and see and feel the honesty within. I have randomly chosen partners for you to work with on that exercise and you and your partner will discuss and critique each other's work. There are a pair of names on each set of easels in the back. Please look for your name and that of your partner and you may begin."  
  
Even though I had no idea what to paint, I was excited about Mrs. Taylor's assignment. It was better than coloring in pieces of fruit and other silly assignments that had taken place in my previous art classes. Grabbing an apron, I hurried to the back to the easel that had my name on it. My name and Ronnie Bass's name as well. As luck or fate would have it, he was my new partner.  
  
"Hey", he said softly.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Looks like we're partners."  
  
"I guess so", I shrugged.  
  
"Can I help you with that?" he asked as he assisted me with my apron.  
  
When our colors and brushes were ready, we scooted our stools up to the easel.  
  
"So", he said. "What are you gonna paint about?"  
  
"I don't know", I shrugged honestly. "I just put the brush in my hands and it's like it automatically knows what to do to the paper."  
  
Ronnie nodded thoughtfully like he understood what I meant. We were quiet for a while, just enjoying the peace and the feeling of freedom we felt as our hands effortlessly glided the brushes over the easel. Fifteen minutes before class ended, Mrs. Taylor called "time" and gave us a few moments to discuss each other's work. I looked carefully over at what Ronnie had painted.  
  
"What do you see?" he asked.  
  
I cleared my throat and tried not to sound like a dork.  
  
"Your color..." I began.  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"It's beautiful. I mean, the way you used it and all. Like where you started, it's bright and peaceful and almost happy. Then over here the colors merge and it's kind of dark and I don't know...I'm sorry. That sounds pretty stupid, huh? You must think I'm a total geek."  
  
"I don't think you're a geek at all, Mary-Courtney. I think you're really smart and really sweet. You totally figured out what my painting was all about."  
  
"I did?"  
  
"Yeah. See, it's like I painted two worlds. One world, like you said is happy and it's chilled and everything is cool and normal. The other world is darker and it's confused and a lot of things don't make sense. That's how I'm feeling now ever since I moved here."  
  
"Is this about the other night?" I asked.  
  
"Part of it", he shrugged. "That really tripped me out, you know. I swear I had no idea. Even though Petey tried to warn me, it's like I didn't get it, man. Like my brain wouldn't even allow me to think like that. Things are so much different here."  
  
"What...what's California like?"  
  
"How did you know I was from California?" he asked, the very mention of his former state brought a sweet smile to his lips.  
  
"I don't know", I smiled shyly. "It's a small town...people talk."  
  
"California...it's cool. It's way different from here, that's for sure. For one, everything is already integrated. It's like people get along and they respect each other and everything is so chill. It's really nice. And the weather, oh man, the weather is great. It's sunny and it never rains and there is always great surf on the beach."  
  
"You surf? Like really surf on a board and everything?"  
  
I grimaced as I know I sounded just like Ellie Mae Clampett but Ronnie didn't seem to mind. He was so patient and thoughtful when he spoke.  
  
"Yeah it's really fun. You'd probably like it, Mary-Courtney. I bet you'd make a great surfer."  
  
"Who me? Nah, not me", I said, shaking my head. "I'd probably suck. I'd probably fall down and break something."  
  
"You're too hard on yourself. I think you'd be great."  
  
Ronnie was looking right at me and his very gaze was paralyzing. I couldn't speak or move or even breathe. All I could do was focus on that face and those eyes...oh those eyes. I can only imagine how I must have looked at that moment...mouth wide open, eyes filled with adoration and wonder. I had to snap out of it.  
  
"So, um, what do you think of mine...my painting that is?"  
  
"I like it. I think it's great. It reminds me a lot of mind except it's kind of opposite in an important way. See, it starts off with these dark colors here...it's like gloomy and kind of sad and the way these lines meet those lines...over here it's like a little ray of light. Like something is trying to escape from the darkness and find the light."  
  
It felt like Ronnie was reading my thoughts.  
  
"Yeah, I guess", was all I managed to stammer as we cleaned up our supplies and prepared for dismissal. "What do you have next period, you know, for class?" Ronnie asked.  
  
"Spanish. It's with Mrs. Shaul."  
  
"Oh that's cool. I know Mrs. Shaul, she's pretty groovy."  
  
"I guess so. Um, what about you?"  
  
"I have lunch."  
  
"Yeah that's right. I've watched you out in the yard, I mean, like we've seen you, I mean...I don't like stare but I've seen you do the meditation like thing...sometimes."  
  
Great going, Mary-Courtney, I scolded myself. I was being a real idiot.  
  
"That's cool", Ronnie smiled. "It's not meditation though I do meditate sometimes. It's called Tai Che. It's actually pretty cool. I can teach it to you sometimes if you'd like to learn."  
  
"Sure", I volunteered, sounding a little too eager.  
  
The bell rang and after saying our good byes to Mrs. Taylor, it was time to go.  
  
"Hey, I can walk you to your locker. It's on my way to the yard."  
  
"Okay", I smiled, hoping he couldn't hear my heart beat. "So, um, is Petey still mad at you and all."  
  
"Nah he's over it and I'm glad to. Petey's a good friend and I don't want him pissed off at me."  
  
"I'm glad you guys made up. It sucks but I understand why he got so upset and everything. It's not right. They treat blacks around here like animals sometimes. It's uncalled for."  
  
"I know. I told my old man what happened when I got home and he was pretty mad too. You know, that's how I ended up coming to T.C. Williams. My family didn't get here until late in the summer and I wanted to play ball real bad. My dad and me went around to different schools and checked out the programs. A couple teams were willing to let me start as quarterback but my dad wouldn't have it. See, none of those schools allowed blacks on the team. My dad is a Colonel in the Army and he says if blacks and whites can fight side by side in a war, then we should be able to play high school football together too."  
  
"Your daddy sounds like a real smart man. I think he's right. A lot of folks around here wouldn't agree but some aren't so bad. Maybe Virginia isn't as nice as California but...I, I hope you get to like it here and all. Maybe you'll see that it's not all bad all of the time."  
  
Ronnie nodded and touched my hand.  
  
"Yeah I guess I am beginning to see that it isn't so bad here after all."  
  
Ronnie Bass touched my hand and I felt like I could fly. Just being near him put me on cloud nine. 


	8. Acting Out

As the teacher prepared to give back the graded papers from our last Algebra quiz, I gave Ray a worried look. It was safe to say we had both tried our best but who was to say it was good enough. I didn't have a good feeling about it at all. I was expecting a low, low "D" but the nothing could have prepped me for the big, fat red "F"! I nearly fell out of the seat and tears welled my eyes. Math had never been a real strong point for me but I wasn't used to getting failing grades. After class was over and all the other students were long gone, I sat in my chair staring through teary eyes at the "F". "Hey you, why the long face?"  
  
"Oh hey Rev", I tried to smile.  
  
"Everything okay? You looking mighty down."  
  
"I'll be okay", I sniffed.  
  
"You sure?" he asked again, handing me a tissue. "How did you do on the test?"  
  
"Awful", I sighed. "I'm too ashamed to even tell you what the grade was. How did you do?"  
  
"A-."  
  
"Wow. Gosh Rev, I'm not surprised. You're like a genius."  
  
"Thanks for the compliments, Mary-Courtney but I wouldn't go that far. I understand math but more than that I really try to focus and I study hard. Let me ask you something. You study, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What method works best for you? Alone? In a group? Do you have to read the material over and over again?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess I like studying with other people. It helps but not like a big group or anything. And it helps sometimes if I use flash cards."  
  
"Sounds good. Look, I've got an idea."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Three times a week Louie Lastik and I get together and study algebra after school. I tutor him. How would you like to join us? Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday in the library."  
  
"Really Rev? You don't mind? I mean, you'd do that for me?"  
  
"Sure. You're a nice girl and you're my friend. Of course I want to help you if I can. It'll be good for you. We'll have those test scores up in no time. Heck, Louie got a C on this quiz."  
  
"Thanks, Rev, I really appreciate it. Sounds like a plan. I'll meet you guys tomorrow at the library after practice lets out."  
  
After cheering practice I nearly skipped home I was so happy. Rev was such a nice person offering to help me like that. I was in such a great mood that I hummed all the while setting the dinner table.  
  
"What's for supper, Mama?"  
  
"Meat loaf and no lip please, Mary-Courtney."  
  
"No lip from me, Mama. I love your meat loaf. It's the best in the county", I grinned kissing her.  
  
Mama and Daddy shot each other skeptical glances as we sat down to eat. Just before grace the doorbell rang.  
  
"Who could that be?" Mama wondered aloud as she rose to answer it.  
  
A few minutes later she returned to the table with Ray following close behind.  
  
"Ray, what are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"You invited me, remember? We were supposed to have supper together before studying."  
  
"Oh", I said in a flat voice.  
  
An extra place was sat and Ray joined my parents in conversation, parents who absolutely adored him.  
  
"Ray, I think it's wonderful that you and Mary-Courtney are studying together", my mother smiled. "Math isn't her greatest subject."  
  
"It's not mine either, ma'am but Mary-Courtney is smart as a whip. We help each other."  
  
He gave that choirboy grin that melted my mother's heart. Actually it annoyed me as he went on and on talking about the perks of our studying Algebra together. I couldn't remember the last time we'd actually gotten any homework done. Usually it ended with our clothes in a heap on the floor.  
  
"Well you can stay for dinner tonight but I've got another study partner, Ray", I blurted out.  
  
"Oh?" Mama questioned.  
  
"Who?" Ray asked.  
  
"Mama, he's a boy in my class. He's real smart too. He's tutored some other kids and he helped this one guy who usually gets F's on the test to get a C today."  
  
"Well he sounds like a real smart young man. Maybe he can help both you and Ray."  
  
"His name is Rev."  
  
"Rev?" my mother asked with a wrinkled nose.  
  
"What kind of name is Rev?" my father added.  
  
"It's just a nickname because he goes to church a lot and he's always praying. His real name is Jerry. Jerry Harris."  
  
"You're letting the Rev tutor you?" Ray asked as he set down his fork.  
  
"Yeah", I shrugged. "Maybe he can help you too like he's helping Louie. Rev is a total brainiac and he's real nice too."  
  
"I don't believe you", Ray mumbled.  
  
"Don't start, Ray", I warned.  
  
"Now Mary-Courtney, what's the sense in getting all salty with your company? Ray is a guest in our home, a guest you invited. Use your manners, girl", my father scolded.  
  
"May I be excused?"  
  
"You may certainly not. Mary-Courtney, what has gotten into you?"  
  
"It's my fault", Ray said. "Maybe I should go. Mr. Davis, Mrs. Davis, thank you for having me. Supper was delicious as usual."  
  
"Nonsense Ray. Have a seat, dear", my mother insisted.  
  
"Mama if he wants to leave then let him."  
  
"Mary-Courtney Davis!"  
  
"It's okay", Ray sighed.  
  
"No her behavior is not okay! Mary-Courtney, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Apologize at once." "Why? So Ray can sit here and bad mouth Rev?"  
  
"Ray, is there something we should know about this Rev character?" my father asked.  
  
"No sir, I guess not. I mean, he's nice enough but I don't know if it'll look right."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mary-Courtney spending so much time with a colored boy and all."  
  
"So this Rev person is colored."  
  
"So?" I mumbled. "Who cares?"  
  
I knew I was really pushing my luck.  
  
"We care", my mother chimed in. "Oh dear. Mary-Courtney that doesn't sound like a good idea at all. Maybe you should find someone else to help you after school."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we're your parents and we said so and because no daughter of mine will be seen off cavorting with the coloreds", my father boomed.  
  
I threw my fork down and gave Ray a scathing look. It was all his fault this mess had started in the first place.  
  
"He's a nice boy", I protested in Rev's defense. "He's polite and kind and courteous and respectful to everyone. And he's smart too. Rev was nice enough to offer me help when I really need it."  
  
"That's all fine and good, Mary-Courtney but you have a reputation to uphold in this town. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, there is nothing more important than a young lady's reputation. I'm sure this Rev person is a very nice young man but my goodness, Mary- Courtney, how will it look, you spending all this time with a colored boy. What would the neighbors think?"  
  
"I don't give a damn what the neighbors think!"  
  
My mother gasped and put her hand over her heart at my little outburst. Poor Ray didn't know what to think but it was plain as day to see that my father was furious.  
  
"That's enough!" he shouted. "Don't you raise your voice and use that foul language in my house, missy! I don't know what had gotten into you lately but I'm not putting up with it anymore, do you hear me? You say good night and apologize to Ray and I'll deal with you later. As for this Rev character, well I absolutely forbid it! Do you understand, Mary-Courtney?"  
  
I stood from my chair tossing my napkin onto the plate of food.  
  
"Good night, Ray", I said in a sarcastic tone. "And the only thing I'm sorry about is that you're such a close minded jerk!"  
  
"Mary-Courtney..."  
  
"And one more thing. If Rev wants to tutor me then I'm gonna let Rev tutor me. You guys should be happy that I care enough about my grades to want to do well. And you should be happy that someone like Rev wants to help. He's my friend and that's the end of that. I don't care what anyone says!"  
  
And with that I bounded upstairs to my room, slamming the door so hard I tried to loosen it from its hinges. I had never had an outburst like that before and I'd certainly never used such a tone with my parents. A little part of me was afraid of what the consequences might bring but a bigger part of me didn't care at all. I was standing up for something I believed in, something that was right. For the first time in my life I had rebelled... and it felt damned good! 


	9. Ain't No Mountain High Enough

My dinnertime episode surprisingly didn't get me into trouble with my folks but even if it had, I wouldn't have cared. Studying with Rev and Louie was the best idea ever. After just three after of school, after practice sessions, I'd already scored a "C" on the latest pop quiz. It wasn't the best but it was passing and I was improving and I couldn't ask for much more. More than making the grade, I was beginning to understand the concept behind all those equations. Rev was an excellent teacher who made learning math skills easy and surprisingly fun. And he was a great person. I considered him, a friend, a real friend like so many other kids my age. Why couldn't folks around town see what I saw? On the inside he was beautiful so why was something on the outside as trivial as skin color so important? For the life of me I'd never understand.  
  
I waited outside the library for ten minutes. It looked closed and large, dark clouds swarmed the sky. You could almost smell the rain coming. After a few more minutes of waiting, just a few seconds before it began to pour, a beat up old pick up truck pulled up beside me.  
  
"Sorry kiddo, we got here as soon as we could", Louie Lastik said, practically out of breath from the driver's seat. "Practice ran late and we just found out the library is closed today for some kind of inventory."  
  
"Oh", I said, trying to hide my disappointment.  
  
I actually looked forward to those three days a week hanging out with the guys.  
  
"But I want you to be ready for that big test next week", Rev piped in from the passenger side. "You've been doing real well, Mary-Courtney. Louie and I were headed over to my house. You can come to, if you'd like. Just for a few minutes for a little last minute cramming."  
  
"Oh I can't", I said quickly.  
  
I was surprised at how fast I had declined the invitation.  
  
"Are you sure?" Rev asked again. "I mean, it's really no bother and we'd love to have you. I bet my mama has supper on the stove if you're hungry."  
  
"Come on, Mary-Courtney, it won't be the same without you", Louie added.  
  
I gave it a few seconds thought. I was being absolutely ridiculous. If Gerry or Alan or Ray or even Louie for that matter had invited me over to their house for the same thing, I would have gone in a heartbeat, no questions asked. The only reason I'd refused Rev was because I was scared about going into a black person's house for the first time. I was being hypocritical and as narrow minded and ignorant as my parents and Ray.  
  
"Uh sure Rev, just for a little while", I said as they grinned and made room for me.  
  
We drove a few miles to the other side of town. It wasn't a bad neighborhood by any means but it was the "colored" side of town. I'd certainly never ventured there before. Finally we pulled up to a modest home at the end of the block. I was so nervous as we walked up the steps. Rev opened the door and was greeted by an adorable little girl who couldn't have been more than seven or eight years old.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, I want you to meet my family", Rev said proudly. "This here is my baby sister, Eva and over there is my other younger sister, Cecile. And these are my parents. Everyone this is Mary-Courtney Davis. She's a classmate of mine and we've been studying together after school."  
  
"Hello everyone. Nice to meet you."  
  
Cecile and Mr. Harris gave me polite nods while little Eva ran up and gave me a huge hug like she had given her brother. Mrs. Harris slipped an arm around me and helped me with my coat.  
  
"Welcome to our home, Mary-Courtney. We're delighted to have you. Won't you join us for some supper before you kids get started?"  
  
My stomach was rumbling and they did seem like nice enough people. Before I knew it I was sitting at the table holding hands with Louie and the Harris family as Mr. Harris prepared to bless the food. "Dear Lord, thank You for Your bountiful blessings and for the food we are about to receive. Please bless it to be used for the nourishment of our bodies. We also thank you for our friends and guests, Louie and Mary- Courtney. Bless them as well. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, Amen."  
  
"Amen", we said in unison.  
  
Dinner, which included ham, potato salad, chicken, collard greens, homemade cornbread and candied yams, was spectacular. Mrs. Harris had definitely outdone herself. I had been so nervous and uneasy when I walked in the door but within minutes the family had put me at complete ease. They were such a tight knit warm and loving bunch. They included me in the conversation and made me feel like part of the family too. I couldn't remember having such a good time.  
  
"Mrs. Harris, please let me help you with the dishes", I offered.  
  
"Can I help too?" Eva asked with a grin that missed her two front teeth.  
  
"You sure can", she grinned. "Mary-Courtney, it was just lovely having you join us tonight."  
  
"Oh thank you for having me, ma'am. I had a great time. Dinner was wonderful and it was just nice being around such good people."  
  
"Well if you'd like, maybe you could join us for church on Sunday. Services start at noon after Sunday School. It's Hope Methodist over on First Street if you can make it."  
  
"Maybe I will", I said, giving it serious thought. "Thank you for the invitation, Mrs. Harris."  
  
We chatted as we washed dishes and Rev set up the family room so we could fit in an hour or so of homework. There was a knock on the door and even before it was answered I could tell by the voices on the porch who it was. I'd know Petey Jones' loud mouth anywhere and sure enough it was him along with Blue, Julius and Leroy, another Titan.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, what are you doing on this side of town?" Petey asked with a wide eyed grin.  
  
I simply smiled and stated the truth.  
  
"I'm hanging out with my friends", I shrugged.  
  
With that we all headed to the family room to study where Mrs. Harris had already brought out a tray of snacks. For a solid hour while we munched, we solved problems aloud, took turns helping each other with equations and read flash cards. Never had I felt so ready and prepared for an exam and I owed it all to Rev and the guys.  
  
"I don't know about y'all but all that studying is hard work", Blue stretched.  
  
"You got that right, bro", Leroy added. "Rev, you think your pops will mind if we play some music on the radio?"  
  
"It's cool man, just not too loud."  
  
Leroy nodded and began fiddling with the radio dials trying to find a clear station.  
  
"Leroy, wait", I said as I heard the chorus to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell's Ain't No Mountain High Enough. "I love that song."  
  
"You?" Petey laughed out loud. "Come on now. Quit jiving us girl. What do you know about Motown and Marvin and Tammi?"  
  
"Probably just as much as you. I like Motown. I have the records. I like Tammi and Marvin and Smokey and the Supremes and especially the Jackson Five."  
  
The guys all laughed and gave each other high fives.  
  
"Ain't nothing wrong with that", Julius laughed. "Looks like our girl, Mary-Courtney has got some serious soul power."  
  
"I don't know about all that", Petey winked.  
  
"Oh yeah?" I said, grabbing a hairbrush out of my back.  
  
I did my best Motown spin and began singing the words to the song. The guys looked shell shocked. I couldn't tell if they were more surprised that I knew all the words or that I could actually dance. Listen, baby  
  
Ain't no mountain high  
  
Ain't no valley low  
  
Ain't no river wide enough, baby If you need me, call me  
  
No matter where you are  
  
No matter how far  
  
Just call my name  
  
I'll be there in a hurry  
  
You don't have to worry  
  
And all of a sudden it was like an episode of American Bandstand as the guys and me were twirling around singing into our faux mics.  
  
'Cause baby,  
  
There ain't no mountain high enough  
  
Ain't no valley low enough  
  
Ain't no river wide enough  
  
To keep me from getting to you  
  
As long as I live, I swore I'd never forget that night, acting silly, signing and dancing over at Rev's house. It was fun, real fun, and I was having it with my friends. At that one moment, color and the outside world didn't even exist. For that one night we were free. 


	10. Tough Love

It was a beautiful Virginia day in late September and our coach decided to let the cheerleaders practice outside. We were just a stone's throw away from the football players and between cheers and cartwheels I watched as Coaches Boone and Yoast blew their whistles as the guys did countless up- downs. Ray had already left me a note in Algebra asking me to meet him when practice was over. We were still together even though I was still slightly sore at him from the dinner escapade at my house the week before. We hadn't talked much since and I guess if we were going to remain together, some of that would have to change. The cheerleaders finished up just minutes before the boys so I gathered my bag and waited by the track for the guys to be done. I smiled to myself as I had to admit that Ray looked pretty sexy in his practice gear with the sweat glistening off his body. By all standards at T.C. Williams, I was considered one of the luckiest girls around. I came from a pretty well off family, I was popular, a cheerleader and Ray Budds was considered quite the catch.  
  
"What's up, soul sister?" Petey teased me as some of the guys made their way over to where I stood on the sidelines.  
  
"Nothing brother", I joked back with him.  
  
"What's up with the new nickname?" Ronnie smiled as he took a drink of water . "Oh you didn't know?" Blue grinned. "You missed it, Sunshine. The other night over at Rev's we had a shindig, boy! Man, it was a good time! Got some homework out of the way then we put on a mini concert."  
  
"Hell yeah", Petey laughed. "Old Mary-Courtney here has got some soul. She tore it up on Ain't No Mountain High Enough."  
  
"Cool", Ronnie said. "Maybe you can teach me some moves sometime."  
  
"Maybe", I shrugged.  
  
Our conversation was interrupted by the lingering presence of Ray.  
  
"You ready?" he asked uncomfortably.  
  
"Yeah...um, see you around guys."  
  
"Sure thing", they said.  
  
"Maybe next time we can see what you're working with on some Ike and Tina", Petey added.  
  
"Sure Petey...as long as you get to be Ike."  
  
I nodded and waved good bye to my friends as Ray and I walked over to his car.  
  
"Wanna go to my house?" he asked. "My parents aren't home."  
  
"I guess", I shrugged.  
  
We made the short drive in uncomfortable silence. Ray opened the door and I took a seat on the living room sofa.  
  
"What was that all about back there?" he finally asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mary-Courtney Davis, the new soul sister."  
  
I laughed in spite of myself at Ray's sarcasm.  
  
"It's nothing. We were just fooling around after a cram session the other night."  
  
"At the public library?"  
  
"No...at Rev's house."  
  
"Rev's house? You were at Rev's house? What the hell, Mary-Courtney? I thought these study sessions or whatever were at the library."  
  
"They were...I mean, they still are. That day the library was closed for an inventory and I really needed some help with all the quizzes and stuff that are gonna be coming up. Louie was going over to Rev's for a little while and they invited me. No big deal."  
  
"No big deal? You...Damn, Mary-Courtney, I can't believe you! Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Jesus, Ray there was nothing to tell. You're making a big old mountain out of a mole hill."  
  
"I can't believe you! Your father would have a fit! He didn't want you hanging out with Rev in the first place. It's bad enough you being seen in public with them but now going to their house?"  
  
"So what, Ray? It was just like going to Alan or Gerry's house. It was a nice house in a nice neighborhood with nice people. They were real sweet to me. They invited me to sit down for supper and..."  
  
"Supper? What? Oh God, that's gross, Mary-Courtney! Tell me you did not eat in that house."  
  
"I most certainly did and it was good home cooking, too. A lot better than what your mama and my mama can do, that's for sure."  
  
"You're a disgrace", he snarled, with disgust.  
  
"Well if you really feel that way then maybe I should leave."  
  
I stood up and grabbed my backpack but Ray yanked it from me.  
  
"Sit down. You're not going anywhere."  
  
"Excuse me? What, are you my daddy now? Ray, give me my bag. I'm out of here!"  
  
"I said sit your ass down. You ain't going nowhere little girl."  
  
"Ray Budds, you are not the boss of me", I screamed.  
  
Before I knew what happened his hand landed square across my jaw. The blow sent me flying back into the chair. Almost immediately tears welled in my eyes.  
  
"Ray..."  
  
"Shut up! Shut up, Mary-Courtney, just shut up!"  
  
I was terrified as he paced back and forth in front of me.  
  
"Ray baby, please. You're scaring me."  
  
"No Mary-Courtney, you're scaring me! What in the hell is going on with you? I just don't get you anymore. First Gerry, then Alan now you! What is it about them? Huh? We have to be around them, we don't have to be their friends and stuff."  
  
"Ray, sometimes when unexpected things come along you just have to run with them, baby."  
  
"I'm not running in that direction, Mary-Courtney and neither are you", Ray hollered. "I won't stand for it! No girl of mine is gonna be hanging out with a bunch of colored boys at their house eating their nasty food singing their stupid songs! Do you know how embarrassing that was for me hearing Petey and Blue and the rest talk about you all through practice?"  
  
"They are my friends", I whispered.  
  
"They are not your friends, do you hear me?" Ray screamed as he roughly grabbed me by the arms and began shaking me. "Those people are not your friends and I never ever want to hear you say that again, do you understand me? I won't have you associating with those animals!"  
  
"The only animal I see around here is you, Ray. You're out of control."  
  
With that he slapped me again, hitting me so hard that my entire head rang. I didn't know the man standing before me and I didn't want to know him. I began to cry, first huge tears that were eventually accompanied by earth shattering sobs. I couldn't believe it had come to this. As I sat there crumpled on the floor, Ray finally calmed down and began to come back to his senses.  
  
"Look Mary-Courtney, I'm sorry alright? I didn't mean to...look, I guess I shouldn't have hit you. I'm sorry."  
  
But it was too late for apologies. I was shaking so badly that I couldn't stop.  
  
"Mary-Courtney..."  
  
"Leave me alone", I whimpered as I grabbed my things and dashed for the front door.  
  
When my feet were on his porch I took off running in a sprint down the block to my house as he stood on his steps calling after me. I didn't care. Nothing he could ever say or do would erase what he'd already done. I ran like a sobbing mad woman all the way home, through my front door, past my bewildered mother up to my room. I slammed the door and collapsed on the bed, finally crying myself to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later, the events of the day all seemed like one big, bad, hazy dream but the awful black and blue bruises on my arm were a devastating reminder that it had all been very real. I hated Ray so much at that moment. I think I even hated myself a little bit too but one thing was for sure. I'd never hate my new friends and I'd never stop calling them my friends either. 


	11. Praise The Lord

I faked a headache on Saturday night so my parents wouldn't hound me on Sunday morning for church. I didn't feel much like going to our Southern Baptist church at all. I was tired of the same folks and the same preacher preaching the same old tired sermon. And I didn't want to see Gerry or Emma or especially Ray. I just wanted to lie in bed and stay there forever. Gosh, life was so unfair. Sometimes I felt like God didn't like me very much. It was all too sad and depressing anyway. There was no need in getting mad at God...he wasn't the jerk, Ray was. God wasn't the one who'd roughed me up and made me cry. For a second I actually smiled as I thought about what Rev would say if he could see me. He'd give me that sweet smile and tell me that this was all just one big test and that those who had faith in the Lord would have their strength renewed. Yeah, I could almost see him beside me and Louie and Blue beside him busting out into song as they often did. Thoughts of those guys could make me smile at anytime. I wished I could be with them, I thought as I glanced over at my alarm clock. It was quarter till eleven. I could hear Mrs. Harris' voice in my head. "Hope Methodist Church...First Street...Noon services". I sat straight up in bed and looked over in the direction of my closet. It seemed like a crazy idea but what the heck, I thought as I hurried to find something to wear. I showered, dressed, and did make up and hair in record time and found myself heading in the direction of First Street. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find the church but I heard the choir belting out hymns before I even saw the building. Nervously I stood outside for what seemed like forever as I tugged on my lip and contemplated going inside. Just as I was about to turn around and leave the door opened and a friendly male usher nodded for me to step inside.  
  
"Um, sir, I'm looking for Rev...I mean, Jerry Harris", I whispered.  
  
"Right up front, third row on the right hand side", the man smiled.  
  
I walked up the aisle scared stiff, wondering if everyone was staring at me, wondering if I was the only white person in the church.  
  
"Mary-Courtney", someone whispered.  
  
I looked over and couldn't contain my mile wide smile as I saw it was Ronnie. He was in the pew next to Rev, Louie, Petey, Leroy, Julius and Blue. The choir was still singing and everyone was on their feet clapping. Ronnie waved me over to where they sat and they all made room for me.  
  
"Glad you could make it", Rev winked at me.  
  
I smiled and stood beside Ronnie. I had never been in a black church before and it sure was different from what I was used to. My church was much more reserved, much more quiet and much more...boring. These people were having a good time singing and praising the Lord. Within moments I was in a secure comfort zone clapping my hands and swaying to the beat of the music. Finally the choir sat down and the pastor took his place in the pulpit. I listened intently as he quoted some of my favorite scriptures.  
  
"The good book tells us in Isaiah 54:17 that No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of Me, says the Lord".  
  
"Amen", Rev added as the rest of the congregation seemed to share his sentiments.  
  
It was nice and I knew I was in the right place. I felt comfortable, happy and totally at peace. If my parents knew where I was they would have killed me but what did it matter? Weren't we both in the house of God giving praise? We all had one God who created and loved everybody, did it matter that I was choosing to worship with black Christians instead of white ones? After the service was over, the members fellowshipped and I had never received so many hugs, welcomes, and warm wishes. Mrs. Harris was particularly excited that I had made it.  
  
"You surprised?" I asked Rev after we were able to steal a moment alone.  
  
"You bet", he smiled. "Surprised and very happy. We loved having you here today."  
  
"And I loved being here. It was really neat. Thanks for inviting me."  
  
"You are welcome anytime, Mary-Courtney, always remember that."  
  
"I know. Thank you. Thanks a lot, Rev. Not just for today or for the tutoring but for everything. You're a good person and a good friend. I'm really glad I met you and I mean that. I just wanted you to know." He smiled and embraced me.  
  
"Hey, isn't that what friends are for? Thank you, Mary-Courtney. I'm glad we met too. You're a good girl. I tell you, God is great. He blessed us with a lot of visitors today. It was good to have Louie and Sunshine here too."  
  
"Yeah I was surprised to see them. That's nice. Do they come often?"  
  
"Nah, it's their first time but I'm hoping it won't be their last just like I'm hoping it won't be your last."  
  
"I'll be back. I promise."  
  
"That's good. Maybe you and Sunshine and Louie can come back together and bring Gerry and Alan and we'll have a Titan reunion in here."  
  
"I'd like that", I smiled.  
  
"Maybe you can even convince old Ray to come", Rev laughed.  
  
"I doubt it. But who cares? We don't need him anyway."  
  
"He's still just another blessed child of God."  
  
"That's up for discussion", I half smiled as I raised my arms to fix the beret in my hair.  
  
Rev's eyes suddenly turned dark with concern.  
  
"Mary-Courtney...your arm", he said pointing to the purple bruise. "What happened to you?"  
  
"Nothing", I said quickly, jerking away. "Um, it was nothing really. I'm a total klutz, you know that. Just one of the hazards of being atop a Titan cheerleading pyramid, I guess."  
  
"Yeah...I guess", Rev echoed, something in his voice alerting me that he wasn't buying my clumsy cheerleader story.  
  
"Well I gotta get going, Rev. Thanks again for inviting me. It was a nice time. I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow."  
  
"Tomorrow, okay. Uh...Mary-Courtney?"  
  
"Yes, Rev?"  
  
"You sure everything is okay? I mean, we're friends, right? You know I care about you. If something was happening...I mean, you'd tell me, right?"  
  
"Yeah, um, sure Rev. I'm okay...really. I appreciate the concern though."  
  
"You sure you're okay?"  
  
I thought for a moment and smiled.  
  
"Yeah...I'm gonna be. See you around, Rev."  
  
I turned and started on my way home.  
  
"Hey, Mary-Courtney, wait up. Can I walk you home?"  
  
I smiled at Ronnie who was running to catch up with me.  
  
"Sure", I shrugged. "If you want."  
  
"Of course I want to", he smiled. "So, how did you enjoy the service?"  
  
"It was lovely. I really liked it."  
  
"Yeah me too. That sure was nice of Rev to invite us."  
  
"Yeah, Rev's a great guy. His family is great too." "Yeah..."  
  
"...Yeah."  
  
"I wanted to tell you that you look very pretty today. That's a nice dress."  
  
"Thanks, Ronnie."  
  
"I was wondering what you were doing later on today, you know, this afternoon."  
  
"Um, nothing I guess. Why?"  
  
"I don't know. I was just seeing if maybe you wanted to stop by later at my house. We could hang out and stuff. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind if you stayed on for dinner."  
  
"Oh...okay, I guess."  
  
I tried not to grin and jump up and down and do back flips along side the street. Sure we were just friends but every time Ronnie Bass looked at me or smiled at me, it made my heart flutter. Now he was inviting me over to hang out at his house.  
  
"That's cool. Around five?"  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
"I live in Old Town, it's off Durkin Street...2284."  
  
"Okay. I'll see you later on then."  
  
"Okay."  
  
We arrived at my house and Ronnie walked me to the front door. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then he was off. When I was sure the coast was clear and my parents weren't in sight, I hurried up the stairs to my room to change. The last thing I needed was questions about why I was in my Sunday best when hours earlier I was near death from a headache that kept me from attending our church. I made it in the nick of time, undressed and scoured my closet looking for the perfect outfit to wear over to Ronnie's. Rev sure was right...the Lord did work in mysterious ways. 


	12. Snow, Fire and Rain

Ronnie lived in one of the nicer more expensive homes in the best part of Alexandria. Sure my friends and I had grown up comfortably in nice houses and whatnot but nothing like the huge Victorian homes just yards from the Waterfront like Ronnie was living in. I arrived at five sharp and knocked on the door. A handsome man with graying hair answered.  
  
"You must be Mary-Courtney."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Come on in. Ron is expecting you. He'll be right down."  
  
"Thank you", I said as I entered the house.  
  
"I'm Colonel Bass, Ron's father. This is my wife, Laureen."  
  
"Nice to meet you Col. Bass, Mrs. Bass", I said politely as I shook both their hands.  
  
"We were just about to start dinner", Mrs. Bass said with a smile. "Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink, dear? Tea, iced water, lemonade, soda pop?"  
  
"Lemonade, please."  
  
It was easy to see where Ronnie got his good looks from. His father was good looking but Ronnie was a carbon copy of his mother. With long blonde hair that nearly swept her waist and piercing blue eyes, they could almost go for brother and sister. But more than looks, it was plain as day to see that Ronnie had inherited his nice and laid back personality from his parents as well. They were nice, easy to talk to people who had a way of making you feel comfortable seconds after meeting them. I was already laughing and joking with them like old friends by the time Ronnie got downstairs.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, I'm glad you made it", he smiled, looking scrumptious in a baby blue shirt that totally accemted his eyes. "You met my parents?"  
  
"We already met, Loverbug", Mrs. Bass winked at Ronnie. "Have a seat. Mary-Courtney and I were just talking about this weather here in Alexandria. She was saying how nice it is this time of year and I was telling her how I've been freezing my butt off. At Ron's games I have to bundle up like an Eskimo."  
  
"Mom's a California girl at heart", Ron laughed. "She really misses it."  
  
"I miss it sometimes. Virginia isn't so bad, it's just cold."  
  
"It's actually pretty nice, Mrs. Bass. I love this time of year. In a few weeks it'll get colder and then all the leaves start turning. It's so beautiful when all the colors are like that. You'll really love it. Then it gets really, really cold and it snows."  
  
"Snow?" Mrs. Bass exclaimed. "How about that? Actually, I'm kind of excited, more curious than anything. Mary-Courtney, can you believe that Ron and I have never seen real life snow?"  
  
My eyes widened.  
  
"Ma'am, are you serious?"  
  
"Serious as a heart attack. I can't wait."  
  
"Oh you'll love it. It's beautiful and actually it's fun to play in. And when it gets really bad there is no school and that's always a plus. And you can take the snow and make homemade ice cream out of it. We call it snow cream. It's really good, just grab a mess full of clean snow, like off the top of your car or something and put it in a mixing bowl. Then just add a few teaspoons of vanilla flavoring and sugar and canned milk. It's delicious but you can't use the first snow although I don't know why. Mama and Grandma are always telling me that."  
  
"Snow cream, huh? Well we'll definitely have to try that, won't we fellas? We don't have anything like that in California."  
  
"Ronnie says it's nice out there in California. I've never been but I'd like to go and visit sometime." "Oh it's a very beautiful place. We loved living out there. I think you'd like it very much. You'd probably fit in just fine, Mary-Courtney."  
  
I smiled at Mrs. Bass and Ronnie just winked at me. How different it was than eating over at the Budds' home. There was no grumpy dad going on and on about the importance of football, there wasn't a nervous mother making presumptuous plans about my possible future with Ray, there was no bratty little sister and most importantly there was no Ray. I loved being at the Bass'. The Col. was pleasant and down to earth, wowing me with tons of interesting stories about overseas and military life. And Laureen Bass was awesome! She was the mother every teenager wished they had. She certainly didn't act like my mother or Mrs. Budds or Mrs. Bertier or Mrs. Hoyt or any other mother I had grown up around. She was pretty and giggly and nice fun. When I complimented her on her lipstick she ran upstairs and brought down several shades for me to try. Then there was their son, Ronnie. We laughed and made small talk but mostly he just lingered in the background watching me and smiling. I was having such a great time I didn't want to leave...ever.  
  
"Your folks are so cool", I said as Ronnie and I sat in the hammock in his backyard.  
  
"Yeah they're pretty rad", he shrugged. "Hope my mom didn't bug you too much."  
  
"Bug me? Heavens no! She's great. Oh my gosh, I'm serious, I think she's fabulous! I love her, she is an absolute sweetheart. Both your parents are. I swear, it's like I don't even want to go home now. Can they like adopt me or something?" I joked.  
  
"They could...but then you'd be my sister."  
  
"So..."  
  
"So I like you, Mary-Courtney. I like you a lot and not in the way a brother should like his sister." Ronnie was being serious and I felt like I was about to keel over and die at any moment. His face was mere inches from mine.  
  
"Follow me", he said, leading me by the hand.  
  
I could no longer breathe. I would have followed him anywhere at that moment. Anywhere turned out to be in the middle of their backyard.  
  
"Will you do something with me? I have something I want to show you."  
  
I simply nodded.  
  
Ronnie stood behind me and outstretched both my arms using his.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, I want you to relax. Take a deep breath...clear your mind. Don't think about anything." I followed his instructions, allowing myself to have an out of body experience, with only his body as a guide.  
  
"...Feel the energy rise up from your legs and arms..."  
  
And all of a sudden those weird but fascinating moves I had watched Ronnie do a thousand times from Mrs. Shaul's window...now I was doing them. I was totally relaxed and the energy he talked about, I could feel it and it was moving over me and it was an incredible experience.  
  
"Ronnie...I can feel it", I whispered.  
  
And we moved in silence for what felt like forever. When it was over it was the single most amazing experience of my life.  
  
"That was pretty cool, huh?"  
  
"Yeah", I said, still moved. "Weird but cool. It actually worked, Ronnie. I could feel the energy."  
  
"That's what it's all about. Energy is a very weird but positive and powerful thing", he whispered.  
  
His face was close to mine and I could feel his warm breath on the side of my face. I closed my eyes as his hand enveloped mine. Every nerve ending in my finger felt like it was on fire as his fingertips stroked mine. I couldn't see or speak or think or even breathe.  
  
"Mary-Courtney", he breathed.  
  
Finally came the courage to open my eyes. When I did he was right there. I no longer felt self-conscious or shy...the moment just felt right. It was as if I had waited my whole life to be right there with him.  
  
"Ronnie..."  
  
Our faces moved in until our lips were touching. His lips were softer than I had imagined, his kiss so gentle, so tender...  
  
"Ron, Mary-Courtney!"  
  
Instantly I pulled away utterly mortified as Mrs. Bass was calling out to us. She had just seen me kissing her son and I was so humiliated I wanted to the earth to open up and swallow me right then and there. "Oh Mrs. Bass, I'm really sorry. I...we were just..."  
  
"Oh never mind that", she laughed. "Pardon me for interrupting. I just wanted to see if you'd like a slice of double chocolate cake before Ron walks you home."  
  
I looked at Ronnie in disbelief. The woman had just caught me making out with her boy and she hadn't batted an eye. She just wanted us to know there was dessert in the house when we felt like having it. "Is she for real?" I whispered to Ronnie.  
  
"Told you she was cool", he grinned.  
  
We went inside and had cake and coffee with Ronnie's parents. Afterwards I insisted on helping straighten up but Laureen would have none of it.  
  
"Oh hon, it's not much and it won't do any harm letting those few dishes set in the sink over night. Anyway, I know you have to be going soon because it's getting late and I don't want your parents worrying about you. Ron, Loverbug, give Mary-Courtney a ride home in your dad's Corvette. Oh but before you go, Mary-Courtney I wanted you to hear this. It's a new James Taylor album. It's that song Fire and Rain. Oh I just love that song, it's so far out", she said, throwing it on the record player.  
  
Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone  
  
Susanne the plans they made put an end to you  
  
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song  
  
I just can't remember who to send it to  
  
"I love this song. Come on babe, you have to dance with me", Laureen said to the Col.  
  
"How could I ever resist a beautiful woman?" he sighed. "Son, I know I taught you better than that as well. Aren't you going to ask Mary-Courtney to dance?"  
  
I've seen fire and I've seen rain  
  
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end  
  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend  
  
But I always thought that I'd see you again  
  
"I guess my old man is right. It's impolite to keep a beautiful woman waiting", Ronnie said as he slipped his arms around me.  
  
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus  
  
You've got to help me make a stand  
  
You've just got to see me through another day  
  
My body's aching and my time is at hand  
  
And I won't make it any other way  
  
It was a perfect moment on a perfect night. All I could do was rest my head upon his shoulders and move to the music. 


	13. A Changed Man

Okay girls one more time. Let's get this together", said Mrs. Collins, the Varsity cheering coach. "I want to try the cheer and the pyramid at the same time. Let's go."  
  
I loved being a cheerleader, I loved the other girls on the team and I loved Coach but sometimes practice could be grueling. I especially loathed being on top of our pyramid. The higher the pyramid, the harder the fall, as far as I was concerned.  
  
"Ready, okay!" screamed our captain.  
  
We formed up and began our routine, clapping and cheering preparing to form the pyramid. It had been a rough afternoon session but we knew that we were capable of standing it up and making it perfect.  
  
"We Will, We Will,  
  
Rock you down,  
  
Shake you up,  
  
Like a volcano about to erupt,  
  
Mighty, mighty Titans here to stay,  
  
We'll rock you all night, and rock you all day!  
  
Whoa Go Titans!"  
  
Just as I was about to strike my finishing pose, I looked down and there was Ray at the bottom of our pyramid.  
  
"I need to talk to you", he mouthed.  
  
"Go away!" I screamed.  
  
Losing my balance I began to wobble and before I knew it, we all landed with a thud on the gymnasium floor.  
  
"Dammitt!" I cursed.  
  
"You okay?" Ray asked, offering me a hand up.  
  
"Ray, leave me alone!" I yelled swatting away at his hand.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, will you and your friend continue your conversation outside?" Coach Collins scolded.  
  
"Yes ma'am", I nodded leading him to a private area right outside the door.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, I just had to see you..."  
  
"What are you doing here, Ray?"  
  
"Baby, I miss you."  
  
"Yeah I just bet you do", I said, arms folded.  
  
"Listen you're mad at me and you have every right to be. I've been acting like a real ass lately and I know you're fed up with me. I'm real sorry, sugar and I wanted you to know that."  
  
"Ray, spare me your empty promises and weak apologies. It don't work no more. I'm done. I don't want to hear it, Ray."  
  
"Well that's your choice, Mary-Courtney. God knows that ain't the answer I wanted to hear but I do understand. First of all, I had no right putting my hands on you. I guess I just lost control of my temper although that's a piss poor excuse. I just wanted you to know I feel bad about it and I swear to you on my life that it'll never happen again."  
  
"Ray..."  
  
"Just hear me out, honey. Please let me say my peace."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"We're living in different times. It's like everything is changing. It made me mad at first Mary-Courtney because I didn't know how to handle it. I wasn't man enough to go with and accept it. I was scared. I know that now and I know that's what caused me to act like such an asshole."  
  
"What are you trying to say?"  
  
"I'm saying that I wrong. I'm man enough to admit that now. All the time I was pissed at Coach Boone and Blue and Petey and everybody...man, I was just hating my brothers."  
  
Ray looked up at me with tears in his eyes, real tears.  
  
"Oh Ray..."  
  
"I just hope the guys can accept me and forgive me for being such a prick all season. I'm ready to make amends, you know, start over."  
  
"Of course they'll forgive you. Ray, they are a great group of guys. You made a mistake that's all, just a case of bad judgment."  
  
"Yeah...I hope so. Do you think...Mary-Courtney, do you think you could ever forgive me?" he asked meekly.  
  
I swallowed hard and tried not to cry.  
  
"I forgave you a long time ago, Ray. It just ain't that easy to forget."  
  
"I know...but it still means a lot. I...I love you, Mary-Courtney. You know that. I never stopped. I'm hoping somewhere deep inside that a little part of you still loves me."  
  
"Ray, don't do this."  
  
"I have to, baby. I have to tell you how I feel. Girl, I miss you so much. You're everything to me. And when I saw you with Sunshine earlier before practice...him carrying your gym bags and you two all smiling at each other...hell, it tore me apart inside."  
  
"Ronnie and I are friends."  
  
"I believe you. Even if you're not, I understand. He's a nice guy, I guess. I can see why you'd like him but watching y'all together just kills me."  
  
"He's my friend, Ray."  
  
"It still kills me, Mary-Courtney. I'm still hoping and praying to God in Heaven every night that there still might be one more chance left for you and me. That's all I need is one chance because I wouldn't screw up again...ever. I love you too much."  
  
"I don't know what to say. I believe you're sorry and I know you're trying to be genuine but that don't erase some of the nasty things you've said and done, Ray. Do I still love you? Yes, I guess some part of me always will but I need time to think. We need some time apart. I think it'll do us good."  
  
"I want you to marry me, Mary-Courtney Davis", Ray said, dropping to one knee.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
He pulled something out of the pocket of his jacket.  
  
"I said I want to marry you that by me one more time."  
  
"I said that I love you more than anything and I want you to be my wife. Now I know this ain't much and I know you deserve better. It's just my class ring but it'll have to make do for now. I swear that if you accept this, as soon as I can, I'll replace it with a diamond. So what do you say, Mary-Courtney?"  
  
Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn't believe it. I did love Ray and I had always dreamt of becoming his wife one day. That was the plan, wasn't it? Now it was no longer something we talked about in the distance. It was real and here and now. Ray loved me and I'd always loved him. I'd never stopped, I just didn't like the evil person he was becoming. But he admitted the error of his ways and he was sorry and he wanted to make all the wrongs right again. How could you not respect that?  
  
"Oh Ray...Baby, I don't know what to say..."  
  
"Say yes...say you love me."  
  
"Oh I do, Ray. I love you so much. Yes, I will be your wife."  
  
He slipped the much bigger ring on the fourth finger of my left hand. We made a promise to each other that day and somehow I knew everything was going to turn out for the best. 


	14. Just Friends

I slipped into my seat in Art class in just the nick of time. The day's assignment was to make various sketches on our easels. Mrs. Taylor was always pretty relaxed so it wasn't unusual to socialize with our friends while we worked.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about."  
  
"Um, sure Ronnie. What's up?"  
  
"Yeah we were pretty busy in Homeroom this morning so I guess now is as good of a time as any to ask you."  
  
"Ask me what?"  
  
"I know it's short notice and I feel like a real nosebleed asking you now but you know Homecoming is Friday night. I was just wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with me after the game."  
  
His eyes looked so hopeful.  
  
"Uh yeah, Homecoming...about that...um..."  
  
"If you don't want to go, then it's cool. I just thought I'd ask."  
  
"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I do want to go. Actually I am going. Um...Ray and I...we..."  
  
"You guys got back together and now he is taking you to the Homecoming dance, right?"  
  
"Right", I said.  
  
Ronnie nodded and kind of smiled.  
  
"Ronnie, are you mad?"  
  
"Of course not", he shrugged.  
  
He went back to his sketching.  
  
"Ronnie, can we talk? I mean, can I just explain everything that's going on."  
  
"You don't owe me an explanation, Mary-Courtney."  
  
"I know but I want to be honest just the same. Ronnie, look, I think you're a great guy, okay? I love spending time with you but..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"But I think we'd be better off as friends."  
  
"Friends?" Ronnie laughed.  
  
"Yes...friends. Ronnie Bass, why are you laughing at me?"  
  
"Just friends, huh? That's cool. I can dig it."  
  
"Ronnie..."  
  
"Mary-Courtney, can I just ask you one thing?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did you have a good time with me a couple weeks ago when you came to my house?"  
  
"I had the best time", I admitted.  
  
"Were you comfortable? Did you like being around my family, around me?"  
  
"Of course. You're a great person Ronnie and so are your parents. I still want to hang out and stuff. I mean, Rev is my friend too and I hang out with him and I love his family. What's the difference?"  
  
"The difference is Rev doesn't feel for you what I feel for you. The difference is, I know Rev doesn't make you feel like I do. No one does...not even Ray."  
  
"Ronnie..."  
  
"I like you, Mary-Courtney. I like you a lot and I know that you like me. We have this really cool vibe between us and I know that means something to you."  
  
"It does but Ray..."  
  
"What about Ray? Does he really make you happy or is it just a convenience? Is this the man you love or are you just comfortable because he's there and it's written in your parents' divine plan that one day you two are just supposed to end up together."  
  
"Ronnie..."  
  
"You can't deny what we feel for each other Mary-Courtney. Are you willing to just walk away from all that because I'm not. It's not that easy for me."  
  
"It's not that easy for me either", I whispered. "But that's the way things are Ronnie. You and I are so different. You have your life and I have mine and we have no choice but to just deal with the way things are, you know?"  
  
"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it, Mary-Courtney."  
  
"No it isn't bullshit. Ronnie, do you see this ring on my finger here? That's Ray's class ring and we made a promise to each other. Do you know what that means?"  
  
"Do you? Did you make a promise to be miserable for the rest of your life? Did you make a promise to have him boss you around and tell you what to do all the time? Did you make a promise to live and love a ruthless bigot forever?"  
  
"People change Ronnie and Ray is trying. To me that counts for something. We love each other very much and we've been together forever it seems like. That's just the way things get done around here. I'm sorry, Ronnie. I didn't mean to hurt you. I...I just don't want you to be mad."  
  
"I'm not mad, Mary-Courtney. I care about you. I'll always be your friend. I just want you to know there's a chance you could walk out that door today and never again feel your whole life the way you feel when you're with me. Are you willing to chance that? Can you live with that decision?"  
  
"I can", I said as I swallowed hard. "Can you?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"I'm sorry, Ronnie."  
  
"Yeah. Me too."  
  
"I just hope...I hope this doesn't change things too much, you know. I hope we can still be friends and I hope you and Ray can become friends too."  
  
"Mary-Courtney, you and I will always be friends. Who knows, maybe one day Ray and I will be too. Nothing's gonna change, okay?"  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I promise if you can make me one promise."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Just promise that you'll be on the sidelines like always Friday night. And promise you'll still smile at me from on top of the pyramid. Promise that you won't forget to look over on the bench and giggle at me if you mess up a cheer."  
  
Tears welled in my eyes.  
  
"Yeah...I promise."  
  
He gave me a hug that only made me feel worse, more confused and guiltier. All I wanted was to make the right decision.  
  
"He changed, Ronnie, you'll see. Ray loves me and he's a new man now and everything is going to work out just fine. Just you wait and see. Ray and I are gonna be fine."  
  
Ronnie nodded.  
  
"That's cool. I hope it works out but you don't have to convince me, Mary- Courtney."  
  
Little did I know, I was trying to convince myself. 


	15. Homecoming Decision

Herndon was supposed to be the easy win, the guaranteed victory but the whole night they had been on our tails. We were leading but not by much and they were gaining on us. It was Homecoming night and the biggest game of the regular season. We couldn't lose. Losing was unthinkable. We had to come up with something to get the crowd and our boys motivated. Ready? Okay!  
  
Put your hands up in the air!  
  
Like you just don't seem to care!  
  
Cause we're the best around, and we show it!  
  
Yeah, yeah, you know it!  
  
Our team can beat anyone!  
  
You know this game will soon be done!  
  
Cause we're the best around, and we show it!  
  
Yeah, yeah, you know it! Go Titans! "Come on Rev!" I screamed.  
  
We turned back to face the crowd and just seconds later the commotion started. I couldn't see exactly what was going on out on the field but I knew it had to be pretty serious when Coach Boone ran out. Within minutes I saw Rev on the ground wincing in pain. It looked pretty bad and I knew he was hurting. The trainers carried him to the bench and I knew instantly that his season as quarterback was over. Coach Boone chewed hard on a piece of gum. He had a decision to make and it had to be quick.  
  
"Ronnie Bass!"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"You're in, son."  
  
"In? Rev's coming back, right Coach?"  
  
"Not in this game and not as quarterback. Come on son, your team needs you."  
  
"But Coach, I can't make that pitch."  
  
"Yes you can. Ronnie listen to me. When I was just a boy I lost my mother and my father in the same month, Ronnie, the same month. Now I had twelve brothers and sisters and even though I was the youngest they were looking towards me."  
  
Ronnie took a deep breath before running onto the field. I looked over at Rev who was nursing a broken wrist.  
  
"I don't know what happened Rev. I swear I called it", Louie said, almost in tears.  
  
"Well I didn't hear it that's for sure", Ray shrugged.  
  
That's when it hit me. It all came to make sense like abstract pieces in a complicated puzzle. At warped speed my mind traveled back to the day Ray had called me from football camp. As plain as day I heard the words over and over when Ray told me he wasn't going to block for Rev, that he was biding his time. Now Rev was hurt, out for possibly the whole season because of a block Ray had missed. I looked over at my boyfriend and it was like looking in the face of Satan himself. There was something cold and remote and eerily satisfying about the look on Ray's face. That's when I knew...  
  
Like a true leader, Ronnie rounded up the troops and led them to victory. Homecoming was saved and it was all thanks to "Sunshine" Bass. People gathered around to congratulate the guys but I went straight ahead to the ladies' locker room and changed into the pretty pink dress Mama had bought me for the dance. I carefully applied make up and put my hair in some fancy up do. All that was left to do was go join my prince, my knight in shining armor. I knew Ray would be waiting for in the gym where they were having the dance but there was something I had to do first.  
  
I nervously walked over to the men's locker room. The guys were still showering or whatnot and I heard Coach Boone award the coveted "game ball" to Ronnie who in turn passed it off to "the real king" Rev. I couldn't help but smile. Rev would be out a few games but at least it wasn't permanent. I waited a while outside that locker room hoping Ray wouldn't see me. Finally I saw Gerry.  
  
"Wow, Mary-Courtney, you look great. Old Ray ain't gonna know what hit him. He should be out in a minute, I can go check for you..."  
  
"Gerry wait! I didn't come here for Ray. You're the captain of the team, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
"Well I need to see you and Coach Boone...in private. And you can't let anyone else know I'm here."  
  
I knew Gerry didn't understand but he sensed the urgency in my voice and ushered me to a room on the side that Coach Boone used as an office. Within minutes he and the Coach were in front of me.  
  
"What can I do for you, young lady?"  
  
"Coach Boone, my name is Mary-Courtney Davis", I said clearing my throat. "I'm Ray Budds' girlfriend, sir. I don't know how to tell you or Gerry this but I think you should kick Ray off the team."  
  
"I have a policy, Miss Davis", Coach said, arms folded. "This is a public school program and I will never cut a player that comes out to play for me."  
  
"Coach, Ray missed that block on purpose tonight. He told me a long time ago that he didn't want to block for any of the black players, Rev especially. I thought it was just talk at the time and lately he's seemed to change so I didn't think nothing of it but tonight...he did it on purpose, I just know he did. That's not right. Rev is my friend and now he's hurt and it could have been a lot worse. It's hard for me to tell you this but it's the truth and I think you ought to know."  
  
After I said what I had to say, I walked out and closed the door behind me. There was nothing to do but wait at the gym. A few minutes later there was Ray all smiles running up to me in his wrinkled suit.  
  
"Hey sugar, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" he grinned.  
  
"Hey", I said softly.  
  
Just then we were joined by Emma and Gerry, who looked rather uneasy. Gerry sent us girls inside saying there was something he had to talk to Ray about. It took less than two minutes for Ray to come storming inside madder than a hornet.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, let's get out of here!" he huffed.  
  
"Ray, what's going on?" Emma asked. "What happened?"  
  
"Emma, we're out of here."  
  
"But it's Homecoming. Geez, Ray all your friends are here..."  
  
"And a few ex friends too", Ray sneered at Gerry.  
  
"Man, I'm sorry you feel that way", Gerry said, straightening his tie.  
  
"Hey screw you man! If you're willing to throw away years and years of friendship for them, then fine! I'm out of here! Mary-Courtney!"  
  
Ray stood expectantly waiting for me to follow him but my feet wouldn't move. "Mary-Courtney, I said let's go!" Ray yelled again.  
  
I shook my head and slipped off Ray's class ring from my finger.  
  
"Here's your ring back", I said softly. "I'm not going anywhere with you Ray. It's over."  
  
"What? What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"I know what you did out there on the field tonight to Rev. That was wrong Ray and you know it. I thought you'd changed. I believed your pathetic lies and that's all they were Ray...lies. You haven't changed a lick. You can't change. It's not in you. It's like you're a monster sometimes. Well I can't deal with it anymore and I'm not gonna. I want out...for good."  
  
"Fine! Fine! You know what? Screw the both of you! Yeah you and Gerry! I don't need this shit and I don't need you two. I'm out of here!"  
  
And then he was gone and I knew this time it was forever. Ray Budds had walked out on me for the last time.  
  
"You okay, sweetie?" Emma asked as she put an arm around me.  
  
"Yeah", I sighed. "I'll be fine. It's all for the best anyway, I suppose. I'm just sorry if I ruined anyone's night. You guys try to have a good time, okay?"  
  
"Mary-Courtney, wait! You can't leave. It's Homecoming! Stay here and have a good time with us." I certainly didn't feel much like having a good time.  
  
"Thanks guys but go on and party without me. I don't think I'd be good company tonight anyway." "Of course you would", Gerry said putting an arm around me. "You're here with all your friends, your real friends and that's all that matters. We want you to stay."  
  
"Yeah Mary-Courtney it wouldn't be the same without you. Please stay."  
  
Finally I gave in and Gerry went off to get us some punch. I wasn't in the best of moods but I decided to stay on anyway. Ray Budds had taken a lot from me and I wasn't going to let him steal Homecoming night as well. 


	16. May I Have This Dance?

I sat on the bleachers absolutely miserable pondering the events of the evening. I felt horrible in that expensive pink dress. It was like the whole world had gone crazy and it was all my fault. I'd lost Ray and he'd lied to me. I'd messed things up with Ronnie. Rev was hurt and that was partly because I hadn't said something sooner about what Ray was planning to do. Everything was so screwed up and I wondered how things could have been different. Trying not to cry I looked out on the dance floor as couples swayed to the soft music of "Have You Seen Her?" by the Chi Lites.  
  
"Now you know you look way too pretty to be sitting here with that long face."  
  
I looked up and there was Rev smiling at me.  
  
"Hey Rev. What's up? How are you feeling?"  
  
"I've been better but it's okay", he shrugged. "What about you?"  
  
"I don't know", I shrugged.  
  
"Well let's see...you're at a dance and I'm at a dance and we're supposed to be having a good time, right? You look beautiful in your new dress and I hope I'm pretty fly in this suit so what do you say? Would you do me the honor, Miss Davis? May I have this dance?"  
  
I smiled and gave Rev my hand as he led me to the dance floor. We moved to the beat of the music, ignoring some of the stares from ignorant onlookers.  
  
"Rev...there's something I have to tell you. I don't want you to be upset with me but I want you to hear the truth and I want you to hear it from me. It's about Ray and me and you how you got hurt tonight."  
  
"I already know."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah. Gerry filed me in."  
  
"And you're not mad?"  
  
"Mad? Mad at you? Why would I be mad, Mary-Courtney? I'm proud of you. I know it wasn't easy for you to go to Boone and Gerry tonight and tell them the truth. It took a lot of guts and I really respect you for it."  
  
"Yeah but what if I had told sooner? What if I hadn't been such a dumb ass and believed all Ray's lies? Then you never would have gotten hurt, Rev. None of this ever would have happened to you."  
  
"What if, what if? Don't beat yourself up over it, Mary-Courtney. It's okay. You did the right thing. None of this is your fault. You're a great girl. Nobody has ever stood up for me like that. I really appreciate it. If Ray wants to be a jerk, then let him. You can't change people and make them into the people you want them to be. Sometimes you've got to cut a man loose. But you know what? It's his stupidity and his loss. Let him go. You're better off. And you have tons of people around here who really care about you."  
  
"I know you guys care about me and I really care about you too but I'm afraid I've messed things up with the person that matters most, Rev."  
  
"Oh? I'm not so sure, Mary-Courtney."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Rev pulled away and there was Ronnie looking oh so dapper in a new suit. I couldn't believe that he was actually there right in front of me.  
  
"Hey Rev."  
  
"What's happening, Sunshine?"  
  
"Nothing much, man. Do you mind if I cut in?"  
  
Rev smiled and looked at both of us.  
  
"As long as the lady is okay with it. Mary-Courtney?"  
  
I nodded and Rev winked as he walked off leaving the two of us alone.  
  
"I'm really sorry, Ronnie", I began. "I screwed up."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"No it's not okay. I made a real ass of myself and I know it. And I hurt your feelings in the process. That isn't right."  
  
"It's over with now. Ray was your lesson learned, I guess."  
  
"I guess. Some lesson", I muttered.  
  
"That's what life is about, good times and bad. Sometimes we make mistakes but oh well, we're only human, right? Isn't that part of growing up? As long as we learn from the mistakes then what is the harm, right?"  
  
"The harm is that Ray is a horrible person and I can't believe I couldn't see his true colors. The harm is that Rev got hurt. The harm is I had something really special with a fantastic guy and I probably blew it because I was too afraid to realize and appreciate it."  
  
"Do you believe in fate? Kismet? If what you had was so special and if this mystery guy is as fantastic as you say he is, then maybe it'll all work out. Maybe it's meant to be."  
  
"I don't know. Maybe...I guess I need time and space now. I need to heal from Ray. I need to get myself together before I can be there for anyone else. This mystery man, as you put it, well he's a really great guy and I care very deeply for him. I think we could have something special and real. I just don't want to mess it up again."  
  
"I think your mystery man cares for you a lot too. I think he's willing to be as patient as you need him to be."  
  
I looked up at Ronnie and smiled. He was something else!  
  
"Thanks Ronnie. Thank you a lot for being so great and always being there for me even when I'm a brat and I don't deserve it. Most of all thanks for not saying that you told me so all along. You knew exactly what was going on when I was prancing around with that stupid ring on my finger and...I just appreciate you being so cool about it now."  
  
"I didn't come here to say I told you so", he smiled. "I just came here for a dance."  
  
I buried my face deep in his shoulder as the Bee Gee's "How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?" began to play.  
  
And how can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go round? How can you mend this broken man? How can a loser ever win? Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.  
  
Truer words had never been spoken but none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was that I was back in Ronnie's arms again, a place where I felt happiest and most protected. 


	17. Coming Clean

I was trying hard to stay awake, really I was but my eyes couldn't seem to stop fluttering. At least no one was noticing that is until my nodding head actually fell forward and slammed onto the pew in front of me.  
  
"Mary-Courtney Davis!" my mother whispered through clenched teeth.  
  
Now I was wide awaked and embarrassed as all heck as I wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth. My mother was none too pleased...it was considered a great sin to fall asleep in church but I couldn't help it. I was bored. I certainly never would have fallen asleep at Rev's church, which was a lot more interesting than mine. I wished I could go to his church every Sunday. Church was church and as long as I was there to enjoy myself and worship God, did it really matter which one I went to? But my parents would never understand that. If my mother ever saw me clapping and singing in an all black church, it would have sent her to an early grave for sure.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, I just don't know what has gotten into you lately."  
  
Here we go again, I thought as I took a deep breath.  
  
"Nothing Mama, I'm fine. I'm the same Mary-Courtney I've always been."  
  
"See? That's exactly what I mean. That attitude of yours is out of control."  
  
"I do not have an attitude."  
  
"Oh yes you do. Falling asleep in church? How rude."  
  
"It was boring", I shrugged.  
  
"Boring? It is church, young lady where we go every week to pay our respects to the Lord."  
  
"Fine. Sorry I fell asleep. Can I go now?"  
  
"You certainly cannot! We are having a conversation."  
  
I tapped my fingers defiantly on the coffee table and let a huge dramatic sigh.  
  
"I just don't know what has happened to you", Mama continued. "Ever since the new school year started it's like I don't know who you are anymore. Falling asleep at church, sassing back at everything your father and I have to say. Something is going on at that school and I don't like it. I think T.C. Williams is a bad influence."  
  
"Oh Mama that's stupid. I know where you're going with this. You're just gonna blame it on the whole integration thing. That's so dumb but lately that seems to be the scapegoat for everyone's problems."  
  
"It seems to me that everything was fine before we let you go to school with those colored kids. Now you're hanging out with them..."  
  
"So what? I hang out with everybody."  
  
"Is that so? When was the last time you had Emma or Anna Beth over? They are nice girls and you've been friends with them practically your whole life. And what about Ray? He never calls or comes over anymore."  
  
"Ray and I are over."  
  
"Nonsense. It's just a little lover's spat."  
  
"No Mama it's a lot more than a lover's spat. Ray Budds and I are finished and it would make me no never mind if I never saw his face again."  
  
"That isn't a very nice thing to say. What did you do to him?"  
  
"Me? Mama, why does it always have to be me?"  
  
"Ray is a good boy and he comes from a good family. He obviously cares a lot about you. You two can have a real future together."  
  
"Why are you always pushing me to have a future with Ray? Are we living in 1971 or 1951? I am 16 years old for Heaven's sake! What about college and a career? What about the things I want?"  
  
"Where is all this coming from? I just don't want to see you ruin things with such a sweet young man."  
  
"Mama, Ray Budds isn't the only boy on earth. He certainly isn't the boy for me. We're too opposite. We see the world completely different. I thought I loved him and I thought I wanted a life with him but he could never make me happy."  
  
"Oh? And that hippie boy could?"  
  
I froze at the mere reference to Ronnie.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm not stupid, Mary-Courtney. I hear the talk. It's all around town, you running around with those colored football players and that weird young man from California."  
  
"Ronnie isn't weird. You just have to get to know him."  
  
"I don't want to get to know him! You shouldn't either. Have you gone completely mad, girl? You best be careful young lady before you get yourself into some serious trouble. Messing around with trash like that. Boys like him only want one thing. You're gonna find yourself in some God forsaken hippie commune pushing a second hand baby carriage."  
  
"That's not fair, Mama! Why are you being like this? Why are you so judgmental? Just because someone moves here from a different place, all of a sudden that's supposed to make them some weird, horrible person? He's a human being, not an alien, Mama. If you got to know him you'd see that he is a wonderful person. He is smart and nice and fun to be around. He is sensitive and sweet and interesting. But you don't know that because you don't want to know. And those colored football players I supposedly run the streets with? Well for your information they have names and faces and families just like you and me. They're good people but because you want to be closed minded and stuck in a different time, you refuse to see that. Well I'm not like you or Daddy or Ray and I'm glad. I'm glad I see people for who they are and that I get to know them before I judge them. Maybe you should try it sometime!"  
  
"I am still your mother and you will not talk to me that way."  
  
"Oh and Mama, one more thing. About Ray Budds, the wonderful guy that you want me to marry? Well did you know that Ray is a hateful bigot who intentionally set up one of his black teammates to get hurt on the football field just because he's black. And did you know that when I did or said something Ray didn't like that he would slap me around? Oh and I can't forget the reason I was failing math was because every time Ray and I spent time studying together he was too busy trying to screw me to open up a book."  
  
"Mary-Courtney, that is enough!"  
  
"Oh and if I ended up with Ronnie I doubt I'd be in any hippie commune pushing any second hand baby carriage. Ronnie's family is wealthier than ours and the Budds' combined. That should make you happy since social status and neighborhood gossip is oh so important to you these days. But you wouldn't have to worry about any babies with me and Ronnie since he's been nothing but a gentleman since met which is more than I can say for your golden boy, Ray!"  
  
With that I bolted from the table up the stairs to my room and slammed the door, not even caring that I had deeply upset my mother who was now in tears. I didn't even feel bad though. A little part of her deserved to feel bad for talking such trash about Ronnie and the others. I hated her for saying those horrible things. I hated Alexandria for being so close minded and so behind the times. Most of all, I hated my own life. Everything was so screwed up. I felt like it couldn't get any worse but little did I know... 


	18. Bittersweet Victory

It was a huge night and one we had all been waiting for. Even though Charlottesville was an almost three hour drive from Alexandria, a large crowd of the most loyal Titan fans had made the trek to watch our boys play for the Virginia State Championship. Our opponents were tough and formidable and it would be anybody's game. I watched with interest as Julius, Gerry, Ronnie, Alan, Petey and the gang kept the score close. If we won, I knew there'd be one heck of a celebration when we returned home. State champions, next stop the nationals. A chance to be known as the greatest high school Triple A football team in the whole country. That was the goal and I had faith we could pull it off. Even if we didn't, we had nothing to be ashamed of. Coach Boone and Coach Yoast had come together and led the Titans to a perfect, undefeated regular season. More importantly, the guys had banded together like true brothers on the field and off. People from all different types of backgrounds and status, different races. Young men who brought a divided town together and made it united. The T.C. Williams Titans had done a lot more than just win some football games.  
  
"Come on Julius! Come on Petey! Come on Gerry! Look alive boys! This is for the big one!" little Sheryl Yoast screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
Sheryl always brought a smile to my face, the beautiful tomboy of a nine year old who had been by her daddy's side at every game and every practice since she could walk practically. I remembered fondly the days I used to baby-sit her. Now here she was growing up. Her passion and love for the sport of football always made me smile but more than that it was so nice to look up in the stands and see her sitting beside her new best friend, little Nikki Boone. And beside Mrs. Boone sat Gerry's mother, Mrs. Bertier. At every first down, every tackle and every touch down the women would jump excitedly up and down and hug each other. Two women with one very big difference watching a Saturday night game together like friends. Nothing made me prouder, I thought but my attention quickly diverted back to the action on the field. It was down to the last minute and we were tied. The tension outside was so thick you could slice it with a knife. We couldn't even breathe. Then it happened! Titan quarterback, # 12, Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass made the throw, the key pass that scored another touch down and won the game. It happened! It had finally happened! We were the champions! I already knew there was going to be one heck of a celebration once we got home but it started as soon as we got on the bus. Everyone was psyched and busy making plans. I was thrilled for our team...they truly deserved everything.  
  
"Party on the waterfront! Party on the waterfront!" Petey exclaimed as he ran around the T. C. Williams parking lot.  
  
As happy as I was and knowing it was going to be a good time among friends, I was tired and looking forward to an early night's turn in. It was a crazy and wonderfully chaotic scene though. There were people and cars everywhere. Loud music blasted, fans shouted and waved our school colors. I stood back just taking it all in as I prepared to walk the short distance home.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, hop in with us! We'll give you a ride to the Waterfront", Emma yelled from the front seat of Gerry's Camaro.  
  
"I'm good", I smiled. "Maybe I'll catch up with you guys later. Have a good time."  
  
Gerry nodded and gave me a knowing smile as I kissed his cheek. Then he pulled off and disappeared into the massive sea of cars in the lot. I waved until they could no longer see me and I began walking in the other direction, saying good-bye to all my friends. There was one last person that I had to see before I left.  
  
"Hey Ronnie...I just wanted to say good game tonight. Congratulations."  
  
He turned and smiled.  
  
"Thanks. That means a lot. We had a great season. Now it's on to Nationals I guess. I can't believe it."  
  
"I can. You guys put in the work and the time and you overcame a whole lot more than other teams around here had to. I'm proud of you Ronnie...all of you."  
  
"Thanks Mary-Courtney. Um, are you coming out to party on the Waterfront?"  
  
"I don't know. Probably not. I'm kind of tired."  
  
"Oh that's cool. I think I'll go for a little while. My parents let me have the Vette tonight. If you're going home, I could give you a lift."  
  
"Thanks...but I think I'll walk."  
  
"Okay", he smiled, before taking off his jacket and draping it across my shoulders. "Here. It's chilly out tonight."  
  
"Thank you. Uh, Ronnie?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you...thanks for still being so patient with me. I know it's taking longer than you might like."  
  
"Take all the time you need, babe. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
He gave me one last wave and wink before walking off. I stood there smiling like an idiot forever before continuing up the block to my house. I could smell the cologne from his jacket and it warmed me all over. Being around Ronnie always put me in a good mood in my own little world. I was in dream land as I turned for the corner that led to my street. I could see the big produce truck with the blinding bright lights approaching but I was too caught up in my own world to pay attention. I guess Gerry was too because he didn't see the truck. Or maybe he saw it but it was too late. There was a stop sign there, why didn't the other driver stop? Why didn't Gerry stop? Those questions reeled in my mind for a few seconds of slow motion until there was the loud sound of impact and the piercing scream of Emma. The car spun wildly out of control several times before coming to a complete halt at the end of the block. There was an eerie silence before the panic set in. Then there were screams and all sorts of commotion as onlookers rushed to the scene. The wrecked car was feet away from me and I was the first one to get to them. The car was so mangled it didn't even remotely resemble the Camaro I had ridden in so many times before. I peered in and I saw Gerry, his face covered in windshield glass and blood.  
  
"Gerry, are you alright?" I asked. "It's okay. Everything is going to be fine. Help is on the way."  
  
"Emma!" he screamed. "Emma! Emma!"  
  
"Gerry, calm down. It's okay. You're fine."  
  
I tried to reassure him but I couldn't see Emma anywhere in the car.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, what happened?" Ronnie asked as he was the first of the passersby to make it to the accident. "Where's Emma?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't see her but I don't think she got thrown from the car or anything", I replied in a frightened whisper.  
  
"It's okay. Somebody went back to the school to call an ambulance. Just stay calm for me...hey Gerry! Gerry man, you okay?"  
  
"I...I can't move. My face hurts so bad...Emma! Where is Emma?"  
  
"Emma's okay, bro, just stay with me, alright? Help is coming."  
  
I looked further inside the car and I could see light brown hair fluttering in the breeze. My heart caught in my throat. At least we'd found her. At least she hadn't been thrown from the car. At least it looked like she was alive.  
  
"Rescue squad is on its way", someone yelled from the crowd forming.  
  
My surroundings were surreal. It was hard to see or breathe or think. There were so many, many people. So much noise. So much blood.  
  
"Mary-Courtney..."  
  
"Shhhh, Gerry, don't speak", I said as I leaned in and tried to touch his arm. "Help is coming, okay? You've got to calm down, sweetie. Try to be real still and real quiet until the ambulance gets here. They're coming soon, I promise."  
  
"Emma...where's Emma?"  
  
"Emma's going to be fine."  
  
I was amazed at how strong and sure my voice sounded while on the inside I was shaking like a leaf. I didn't know if Emma was going to be okay. She hadn't moved one iota since I'd first spotted her crumpled on the Camaro's floor. It was all too much for me. How had everything changed in a few split seconds? One minute we were all standing around laughing and talking, celebrating our victory, the next minute our friends were near death. I couldn't take it, I didn't know what to do. Gerry's sobs, Emma's stillness, that final blood curling scream she let out right before they hit.  
  
"What happened here? What happened? Is he alright? Gerry!"  
  
Julius bounded through the bystanders to be at the side of his best friend. He took one look inside the car at Gerry's bloodied face and lost it. The tough guy, the All American Titan linebacker, the young man who had gallantly stood up to cowardly racists was now simply a broken, defeated, sobbing boy.  
  
"Julius! Julius! Julius, stop it!" I said, grabbing him so that we were face to face. "We have to be strong for Gerry and Emma. It'll only get worse if he gets more upset so we have to be calm out here, okay? Now pull yourself together, you hear me? All that racket and tears isn't gonna make him any better."  
  
Julius was still disoriented but he seemed to get what I was trying to say. He calmed down and the ambulance quickly arrived, immediately getting to work to free our friends from the wreckage. Julius and I latched on to each other for comfort. He cried softly as did some of the others but I couldn't. I wanted to and I felt like I might but the tears just wouldn't come. Instead I stood there stoned face, quiet as a mouse and scared out of my mind. 


	19. Making The Pain Go Away

I hate hospitals, guess I always have. The smell...the creepy feeling you get just by walking into one. I took a deep breath and tried to will myself not to go crazy. But it was hard. I was feeling nauseous and all of a sudden there wasn't enough air in the room and it felt like the four walls were closing in on me.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, can I get you a soda?"  
  
"No thanks, Rev", I said shaking my head for emphasis.  
  
We had been in the waiting room of the hospital for nearly three hours. Three long hours without word of our friends' condition. In addition to Mrs. Bertier and the Hoyts, Coach Boone and Coach Yoast were joined by every single Titan player and every Titan cheerleader.  
  
"We've been sitting here for a while. It might do you good to take a sip of Coke, get some fresh air outside. Come on. Take a walk with me."  
  
I sighed and followed Rev outside. He gave me a canned soft drink and I gulped down every ounce, not realizing just how thirsty I had been.  
  
"You okay?" he asked.  
  
I shrugged.  
  
"I can still see the blood", I said as I stared off into the night. "There was so much blood...Gerry's blood was all over me. I can smell the blood and I keep playing it over and over in my mind the moment the cars crashed. I try to close my eyes and make it go away but I keep hearing Emma's scream."  
  
"Shhhh. Try to forget the bad stuff, okay? It's gonna be okay. The Lord is gonna work this one out. Gerry and Emma will be just fine?"  
  
"Will they?" I asked him point blank. "Because I don't know, Rev. It looked pretty bad."  
  
My heart was filled with emotion but the words spilled out flat and cold.  
  
"It's gonna be okay", Rev said, his brown eyes filling with tears. "I have faith. Trust in God and He'll work it out."  
  
I nodded. Rev's never failing belief never ceased to amaze me. I admired and respected him so much. "Thanks for the soda, Rev. I'm gonna head back inside."  
  
"I'll be back in a bit. Me and some of the boys are gonna go over to the chapel and pray."  
  
He hugged me and I went back to the waiting room to sit. The coaches, the Hoyts and Mrs. Betier emerged from a meeting with the doctors.  
  
"Listen up everybody", Coach Yoast said. "We just talked to the doctors and everything is going to be fine. Aside from a few broken bones and scratches, both Emma and Gerry are going to be okay. We won't be able to see them tonight so you kids may as well go on home and get some rest. It's the best thing we can do. The families appreciate everyone waiting around."  
  
The entire waiting area breathed a huge sigh of relief and after a few words of comfort to Mrs. Hoyt and Mrs. Bertier, one by one everyone filed out to the parking lot. I tried to get up but my legs were of no use. I couldn't make myself leave that seat.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, you heard Coach. Everything's alright. We may as well go home. It's pretty late anyway. I'll give you a ride."  
  
I looked up at Ronnie and finally took his hand. We walked outside and got in the Corvette.  
  
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"It's late and too much has happened. We all just need a good night's sleep. I'll take you home."  
  
"I don't want to go home", I mumbled softly.  
  
"Where then? Where do you want to go? I'll take you anywhere you want to go."  
  
I met his questions with silence but it's like he read my mind anyway. We drove to his house, which was dark and quiet, Col. Bass and Laureen were long asleep. Ronnie and I walked up to his room where he shut the door softly behind me. He turned on the radio and sat on the bed.  
  
"You did real good out there tonight, Mary-Courtney. You really kept your head. I'm proud of you. That was really brave."  
  
I looked down at the specks of blood on my cheering skirt and Ronnie's jacket. I certainly didn't feel very brave.  
  
"I was so scared", I finally said.  
  
"We were all scared. Nothing wrong with that. It was a real scary thing that happened. But Gerry and Emma are okay now and that's the important thing."  
  
"Ronnie, I..."  
  
"You what? Talk to me, Mary-Courtney."  
  
"Can I stay here for a little while? Please? I don't want to be alone tonight."  
  
Ronnie motioned for me to sit next to him on the bed.  
  
"Whatever you want, babe. I'm here for you."  
  
"I can't believe this all happened tonight. Tonight was surreal, crazy. Hell, this whole year has been crazy. I feel like everything has changed and I've grown up so much. I guess we all have. I just can't believe how close we came to losing them tonight."  
  
"But we didn't."  
  
"But we could have. I have all these crazy feelings stirring up inside me. I don't even know how to feel or act anymore."  
  
"Just be yourself", Ronnie said quietly.  
  
"I don't even know who that is."  
  
"I do. In front of me I see this incredibly beautiful, intelligent, kind, fearless girl. Somebody who stands up for her friends and what she believes in no matter the price. Someone who takes care of everybody else but herself. I see a girl with so much personality, so much depth...I see the heart of gold inside and that's what made me fall in love in the first place."  
  
I looked at Ronnie in disbelief. Had he said what I thought he just said? Did he know what he was doing to me?  
  
"Don't say that to me."  
  
"Why? It's the truth. Why are you so afraid?"  
  
"I don't know", I whispered truthfully. "There is so much bottled up inside me right now and I don't know what to do with it. You ever felt like crying but you just couldn't?"  
  
"You can cry in front of me, Mary-Courtney", Ronnie said, stroking me cheek.  
  
"If I start I might never stop."  
  
"Then I'll just be here to hold you and comfort you until you do."  
  
Looking into his eyes, I knew he meant every single thing that had just been said. Ronnie Bass, the star quarterback, pretty, hippie boy was the real deal. From that moment on I knew he'd always be there for me, that he would comfort me when I needed it most...that he would do anything to protect me. I could let go in front of him. I could give myself to him. I could just be me. A small tear escaped from my eye followed by another. Then they began to flow uncontrollably one right after the other. I was losing myself and I couldn't get it together but it was okay. The harder I cried, the harder he held me. Trembling, I looked right at him, deep past those blue eyes directly inside his soul. He stared right back and I knew he could see inside me as well. Leaning in, he planted tiny butterfly kisses on my tear stained face. My lips found his and once again it felt right. We made sense, fitting together like a perfect little puzzle. I pulled away and began to pull my cheerleading sweater over my head.  
  
"What are you doing?" he whispered.  
  
"It's okay...I want to."  
  
"Put that back on."  
  
"Why? Don't you want to?"  
  
"Of course I want to but not now. Not yet. It's not right."  
  
"I just wanted to feel you, Ronnie. I wanted you to make the pain go away. I wanted you to love me."  
  
"I do", he said.  
  
And he did. Easing me down on the bed, Ronnie held me all night until I fell asleep. There was no pressure, no sex or anything like that. I didn't have to give Ronnie anything to make him want me. He wanted me just because he did. Sleeping in his arms all night was the most peaceful rest I'd ever had. Never in my life had I felt so safe or so wanted...or so loved. 


	20. How Do You Know?

"You've got a lash about to get in your eye."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Right there."  
  
"Right where?"  
  
"Hold still and let me get it. There..."  
  
"Mary-Courtney, quit babying me."  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"And you're complaining?"  
  
"Hell no, I'm just warning you that I'm getting used to it."  
  
I grinned and playfully slapped Gerry upside the head.  
  
"Ow!" he claimed. "I can't believe you'd hit a man in a wheelchair. You're ruthless girl."  
  
"Yeah? Well according to the doctor you only have one more week in this wheelchair, then what's gonna be your excuse?"  
  
Gerry grinned a real grin at me and it was so nice to see him happy and back to normal. It had been a rough road. The car accident had really banged him up physically and it had been quite the path to recovery. But Gerry was a strong one and I knew if anybody could make it through, it would be him. Of course it didn't help that he constantly beat himself up over the fact that he thought he had hurt Emma. One concussion, broken arm, and fractured pelvis later, she was healing rather nicely and seemingly in good spirits. She had given us quite a scare though, especially Gerry. It tore him up knowing he had been driving the car when she was hurt even though it was in no way his fault. Those weeks following the accident Gerry and I had rekindled our friendship and grown closer. I'd spent a lot of time in the hospital by his side as he recovered. Titan cheerleaders did not accompany the team to the Nationals in Pennsylvania so I had watched the game on local TV in Gerry's hospital room. The boys put up a valiant effort but in the end were defeated. Still they had played their hearts out and had nothing to be ashamed of. All in all it had been a great season. We'd all learned a lot.  
  
"You know something, Mary-Courtney?"  
  
"What's that, Ger?"  
  
"I love Emma very much...always have but this last month...I can't describe it. I came within an inch of losing her and that scared the hell out of me. I know we're young and we've got another year left of school after this one but I've already decided to ask her to marry me. I went and got a ring and everything. It ain't much but it'll do for now."  
  
"A ring? Wow, Gerry, that's great. Gosh, I don't know what to say."  
  
"Say you'll be happy for us."  
  
"Of course I'm happy for you guys. You make a great couple, it's just that..."  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"I don't know. Like...how do you know?"  
  
"That Emma's the one?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I just know. I feel it deep in my bones. When you truly love someone like that, it just feels right. She's everything to me and I can't imagine my life without her. What we have is special and pure and it completes me. She makes me happy in a way that I can't even explain."  
  
"Well good for you. That sounds beautiful, Gerry. Some people wait their whole lives for a chance to find someone that special to them. If you've got it now, don't let it go."  
  
"I don't plan on it...and maybe you should think about following your own advice."  
  
"What are you talking about?" I asked trying to laugh off the situation.  
  
"You know what I mean. We're still young and you've been through a lot but you have someone out there who cares a lot about you and I know you feel the same way about him. I can't tell you what to do but don't let fear and mistrust mess up something that could be really special."  
  
I knew Gerry was right. He understood and I wanted to talk to him more about it but the doors to the Town Hall opened and Titans and other guest began filing in for the annual awards ceremony and the Virginia Coaching Hall of Fame induction. I sat next to Gerry and cheered loudly as he, Petey, and Julius all received awards. And we were all ecstatic when Coach Yoast finally received his long deserved rightful spot in the coaching Hall of Fame. The last award was the most special. It was the Titan MVP trophy awarded to a player voted on by the rest of the team.  
  
"It was a great season and a great joy for me coaching the Titans this year", Coach Boone began. "I'm so proud that the boys who came to summer camp this year now stand before me as men. In my book you'll always be winners and I've come to think of each one of you as the sons I never had. Without further ado, it gives me great pleasure to announce this year's most valuable player, an honor decided by you the team. In my humble opinion, all of you played your hind parts off this year so you're all MVPs to me but one young man stands out. I can't say enough about this person. With honor, humility and dedication this young man proved himself to me and all of you as both a leader and an equal and he did so with sacrifice, honor and hard work. Ladies and gentlemen...Ronald Bass."  
  
The room erupted into a standing ovation as a flustered but grateful Ronnie took center stage.  
  
"Man, I'm not much for speeches so I really don't know what to say. Um, I want to thank all the coaches especially Boone and Yoast for their tough love and their leadership. It was a privilege and a pleasure playing on the team with you guys this year. It was a great season and we got through it together. I got the chance to meet some good people and develop real friendships that I know will probably last a lifetime. So Gerry, Julius, Petey, Blue, Alan, Leroy and the rest of the boys...it was great and I couldn't have done it without you. Rev, you're the real king on this team brother. Thanks for showing me that pitch. I want to thank my parents too for always being there and supporting me and loving me all these year. Last but not least I want to thank one more special person who has really changed my life. You know who you are and I just want to say thank you for being you. You're really cool and you made my move here and all the adjustments that came with it, so much easier. Early on at camp Petey Jones gave me the nickname Sunshine but the young lady I'm talking about...well, she's truly the sun. I just wanted to say that. But thank you very much everyone. This is an honor. Good night."  
  
Everyone stood and clapped again but I couldn't. I was frozen, paralyzed knowing he was talking about me.  
  
"Mary-Courtney, are you just gonna stand there?"  
  
"Huh?" I asked.  
  
"I got tears in my eyes and you're about to ruin my sentimental moment", Petey joked, wiping away fake tears. "Now we all know old Sunshine was talking about you. You just gonna sit there and look crazy? Get up girl! Go get your man!"  
  
Petey was right. What had I been thinking all this time? I made my way past the crowd out the double doors to the parking lot where Ronnie and his parents were.  
  
"Wait!" I yelled, frantically trying to get their attention. "Col. Bass, Laureen...can I talk to Ronnie for a second?"  
  
"Of course", the Colonel nodded.  
  
"What the heck took you so long?" Laureen whispered with a wink as they gave us some privacy.  
  
"How's it going?" Ronnie asked.  
  
"I love you!" I blurted out.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said I love you."  
  
"Mary-Courtney, you know I was talking about you in there when I gave that speech. Just because I said all that stuff I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me you love me."  
  
"No, no. It's not about obligation, Ronnie. It's about you and me and how we make each other feel. It's about what's been there all along. It's about me being too dumb and afraid to realize it before. But now I do. I love you. I can say that and mean it. I'm not afraid anymore, Ronnie. I...I love you."  
  
I looked up at him waiting for a reaction but there was none. Just when I was about to go crazy, his face fell into a wide grin and he swooped me up in his arms and gave me the sweetest kiss ever. Oh his kisses and how they made me feel. For a minute we were the only two people except for his parents, the cheering squad and the rest of the Titans who were overwhelming us with thunderous applause.  
  
"It's about time, you two", Petey belted out from the crowd.  
  
Yeah Petey was right. It was about time. In fact, it was way overdue. 


	21. Remembering The Titans

I smiled as I brushed my long blonde hair. Looking at the invitation on my dresser made me filled with happiness and nostalgia.  
  
Dear Mary-Courtney, It's that time once again! We're firing up the grill with steaks, burger and hot dogs...oh and don't forget, you still owe me a beer from last time. Can't wait to see you and the family. Much Love, Petey  
  
After all these years, 33 remarkable years after that first meeting with Petey in Mrs. Shaul's fifth period Spanish class, we were still friends. All the Titans were close. Even though some had moved away, we made it a point to get together for a reunion every summer at Coach Boone's. Petey and Blue hadn't changed much. Slightly heavier and a little grayer but they were still the same class clowns always up for a joke and belting out the songs we used to dance to in Rev's living room, songs that our children now referred to with rolled eyes as "oldies". Speaking of Rev, he was doing well. Married with two sweet kids, one grandbaby on the way and we could actually use the term "Rev" with truth as he was now the minister at the old Hope Methodist church on First Street. I cherished and looked forward to the times we got together. It was wonderful to reflect and reminisce about events from so long ago that had bonded us together for a lifetime. With Louie and his family in Tennessee and me and my family in South Carolina, it was nice to make time to all get together and catch up. I remember once when Gerry was in the hospital after the wreck, he and Julius made a pact that one day they would get houses side by side and grow old together with their families in a world where black and white didn't matter. That dream that once seemed so far off and impossible had come true. Julius and his high school sweetheart Gwen lived next door to Gerry and Emma in a quiet little neighborhood where they had raised their children together. Sometimes I missed Alexandria and secretly wished I could be right there with them. But my life hadn't turned out so bad. Ronnie Bass and I became an item at the awards dinner that night and continued that relationship on up to when we graduated high school and attended colleges in separate states. But we remained the best of friends and wrote each other once a week for four years. And I was there to greet him when he returned home after college graduation...with his steady girlfriend in tow. But the years were good to me as I traveled the country as a successful business woman. Eventually I married and settled down raising three beautiful daughters.  
  
"Mother, make Vanessa get off the phone! She's been on the phone for over an hour and I have to use it!" my youngest, 16 year old Christina bellowed from the hall.  
  
"Mom, I have not! Chrissy is a liar!" 19 year old Vanessa added.  
  
"Guys you know the rules", I hollered into the hallway. "Now it is way too early for all this bickering. If you two can't settle it without arguing then no one uses the phone, got it? Vanessa, if you've been on the line for an hour, use your cell phone, honey."  
  
"Just great, Mom! You always take her side. Chrissy is such a brat!"  
  
The master bathroom door opened and my husband emerged freshly showered and clean shaven.  
  
"The girls fighting over the phone again?"  
  
"Of course. Those two are driving me insane!"  
  
"It could be worse."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Jennifer could have chosen not to go to Europe this summer and we'd have three kids arguing over the phone", he smiled.  
  
I had to agree but what could I say? I loved our girls. We truly had been blessed over the years with a wonderful, beautiful family. I loved my husband a great deal even after 24 years of marriage and three bratty but beautiful daughters. He planted a small kiss on my forehead, then on my cheeks, then my lips.  
  
"I love you, babe", I whispered.  
  
"I love you, too", he said as he pulled me close for another kiss.  
  
"Oh gross, don't you two ever quit it?" Vanessa asked as she barged into our room and flopped down on the bed.  
  
"Don't you ever knock?" her father teased.  
  
"I think it's kind of sweet that they're always kissing and making out and stuff. Old people seem to do that a lot these days", Christina added as she joined us. "At least Mom and Dad are still together. Most of my friends' parents are divorced."  
  
"Not Mom and Dad", Vanessa smiled. "These two will never get divorced, right guys?" Vanessa smiled.  
  
"That's right", I nodded.  
  
"Dad, tell us the story again, the one about how you and Mom got together", Christina begged.  
  
"Let's see, it was a clear Virginia day..."  
  
"Not that one", Vanessa laughed. "No offense Dad but your stories are way too long. You tell it, Mom and not the one when you first got together but the romantic one. The one where you found each other again."  
  
"Oh, that one", I laughed. "Okay. It was a bitterly cold winter night with snow on the ground that was knee deep. I don't know why I decided to visit your grandparents in Alexandria that weekend but anyway I went and got snowed in and was miserable. So I walked a few blocks to get some coffee and warm up and there he was. My first love sitting in a little corner booth. Turns out the same thing had happened to him. He came up for a spur of the moment visit and got snowed in as well. Well, we started talking and catching up and remembering old times and it was like we'd never been apart all those years. He invited me to come visit him in Greenville and one weekend I did ...and never left. The rest is history."  
  
"That's so cool, Mom", Christina gushed. "It's beautiful. Like Romeo and Juliet."  
  
"It's not Romeo and Juliet stupid because they're still alive", Vanessa groaned.  
  
"Duh!"  
  
"Duh!"  
  
I looked over at my husband with a huge grin even as our children continued to argue. Yes it had been a great life, one I wouldn't have traded for the world.  
  
"I love you, Mary-Courtney", he said.  
  
I looked deep into those blue eyes and got lost inside his soul like I had so many times before.  
  
"And I love you too, Ronnie"  
  
THE END 


End file.
